Page 46 of The Senator's Wife

“Yes, very.”

“I hope it made her feel less discouraged with everything.” Athena paused. “I don’t know if I should mention this, but I think I may have upset Sloane. She was telling me about the day that…everything happened.”

Whit put down his glass and looked at her. “What did she tell you?”

“That she feels guilty for not realizing how bad off Peg really was. She mentioned that Peg was drinking a lot, and that you and she were having problems.”

Whit was annoyed. What was Sloane doing discussing his prior marriage with Athena? “What did you say to upset her?”

Athena looked sheepish. “I asked her if you were unhappy in your marriage, and she told me that was an inappropriatequestion. I apologized, but I hope that she isn’t still upset with me. I would hate for her to feel that she didn’t want me caring for her any longer.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll smooth it over.” He took another sip of wine and scrutinized her for a moment. “For the record, Iwasunhappy. Can I confide something in you?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said, her eyes wide.

He tented his hands. “It’s something I never told anyone. It was too humiliating. Well, for the last several years of our marriage, Peg was drinking heavily, spending her evenings at bars. She…” He shook his head.

“What is it?” Athena asked.

“I found out from one of our neighbors that she was bringing random men home. I begged her to get help; told her that if she continued, I would leave her. She’d promise and for a while she’d stop drinking, but then the cycle would start all over again. The day it happened…I had told her I thought we should separate. I had a golf obligation with the mayor that I couldn’t get out of. When I came home, she had Robert there to try to talk me out of it.” Whit took another sip of his wine.

“Her infidelity must have been painful.”

“You have no idea. I tried to get her help, but she wasn’t interested. It even became too embarrassing for her to accompany me to social events here in DC. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to practically carry her out of a party.”

Athena shook her head. “It would be so amazing to go to those kinds of events. It’s hard for me to imagine someone not doing everything they could to maintain that privilege. She must have known what was expected of her as the wife of a prominent senator. What a shame she couldn’t manage it.”

He went on. “Exactly. I needed a wife I could be proud to have with me. In the last few years, the only time we could socialize as a couple was with Robert and Sloane. They understood that she was having problems and didn’t judge.”

“What a terrible way to live. It sounds like Senator Chase was a good friend. Were he and Sloane happy?”

“Very. As I’ve told you before, I’ll never be able to measure up to him in Sloane’s eyes.” He gave Athena a sad look. “Don’t get me wrong. I understand that just because someone is gone doesn’t mean you stop having feelings for them.” He raised his wineglass and swirled it around, then sighed. “But is it so wrong to hope that your wife will put you first in her heart? I mean, I really hoped that after being so hurt in my first marriage, this one would be different. Not that Sloane is anything like Peg, but I sometimes wonder if I’m going to have to give up hoping for the deep connection I’m seeking with another person. Do you think that’s terrible?”

“Of course not. Any man would want the same. You deserve to be loved and appreciated.”

“It’s so nice to be understood. Sloane and I have been through so much. I just hope that one day we can leave the tragedy behind and appreciate what we have now. I’m doing my best to be patient and kind. Especially with her health issues.”

Athena’s eyes were warm. “The tragedy seems to have made you more compassionate. Sloane’s lucky to have such a wonderful husband to care about her.”

“Well, she’s also lucky to have such a compassionate caregiver.”

She looked down at her wineglass. “I appreciate that, Senator. And I know how difficult it is for you to see her so ill. And now she’s hallucinating. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

“You have no idea how wonderful it is to have someone to talk to. I worry so much, but I would never tell Sloane that, and I really don’t want to upset Emmy any more than she already is. But now, with you, it’s different.”

“I’m here for all of you, so please don’t ever hesitate to talk to me about your concerns,” she said.

“Sloane has belonged to a lupus support group ever since she was diagnosed. She’s made strong bonds with many of its members over the years. I went to a meeting when we were first married.”Here he paused and cleared his throat. “There’s a man—Harold—that Sloane befriended. His wife has lupus. Sloane told me that a few years ago she went to visit Harold and his wife. Harold took Sloane to his wife’s room. The woman lay in bed, practically comatose. Sloane said she was a bag of bones, her face wrinkled and etched with pain. It sounded horrible.”

“That must have been an awful thing for her to see,” Athena said.

“Yes, it was. I met Harold at the meeting, and Sloane told me his story. When we got into the car, Sloane put her hand on mine and stopped me from putting the car in drive.Look at me,she said.Don’t ever let me get like that. Promise me!I could hear in her voice how terrified she was. We talked more after that, about what a toll his wife’s illness had taken on Harold, and how she had no quality of life whatsoever. Sloane told me she didn’t ever want to live that way. And she didn’t want me to see her like that—a lifeless shell that I felt honor bound to care for. She said I’d grow to resent her, and she couldn’t stand that.” Whit finished his wine and wiped his lips. “Sloane said that there comes a time when patients can’t carry out their own wishes. She made me promise I wouldn’t let her end up like Harold’s wife—and now she’s hallucinating. I’m so worried.”

“She said something similar to me when we had lunch. Said she’s seen what this can do, and for her to live that way is unthinkable. Now I understand.”

Whit took a moment to gather his thoughts. “Sloane is a very proud woman—independent and strong. She’s made it very clear to me that it would be intolerable to reach a point where she could no longer take care of herself. There’s a very real possibility that the lupus will affect Sloane’s brain permanently. And I’m wondering if she’s had other incidents that we don’t know about. I need you to be vigilant.”

“Thank you for telling me that. Of course I’ll let you know if I see any more evidence. But—”

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