Page 109 of Home Run

Rounding the counter, gently grabbing her shoulders as she turned away from me, I spun her back to face me. Her big brown eyes had reddened from holding back the tears, and my heart cracked.

“Millie…”

“What if I never catch up? All these feelings you’ve had for me for so long…what if Inevercatch up?” She sniffed, wiping her hand under her nose. “What if I get this wrong? What if I don’t love you like you need to be loved, or it’s not enough? Or it’s different from how you thought it would be? Or you change your mind when the baby’s born?”

“What?” I asked, trying to make sense of where she was coming from, but I truly had nothing. I could almost see her spiraling in front of me.

Why would she think I’d ever change my mind?

I thought I’d made it clear to her that she was my future, but I obviously hadn’t. I pulled her into my arms. Tears streamed down her cheeks, only to be mopped up by my shirt, reminding me of the day I’d found her in the rain at Grand Central.

The day this all began.

“Millie, babe, your love will never not be enough. You will never not be enough. You and the baby are all I need. All I will ever want.”

Holding her against my chest, I let her sob. I didn’t know where this was coming from, it seemed too big of a reaction to come from anything Parker had said. Even if Iwas still a bit drunk, I’m sure I hadn’t forgotten anything that happened tonight.

I stood there wracking my brain until her sobs subsided, leading to a series of sniffs until she eventually stopped and smiled up at me. It was weak but at least it was a smile.

“Let’s go to bed. It’s late, I’m drunk, we’re both tired.”

“Sure,” she replied, taking my hand.

Hours later I was still awake long after she’d fallen asleep in my arms. I lay there trying to figure out a solution to make her see sense, but in the end I realized this wasn’t a problem I could solve.

She needed to figure it out on her own. I just really hoped she got there soon.

TWENTY-THREE

MILLIE

It was totallyunfair I’d stayed sober all night and still woken up feeling like shit.

Worse than shit. It didn’t help that Tanner hadn’t been next to me when I knew we’d fallen asleep together. I never heard him leave.

I shouldn’t have looked in the mirror either. I clearly hadn’t done a very good job of removing my makeup, seeing as half of it was now down my face. Or maybe that was from the tears.

I couldn’t even find my phone to tell me what the time was, and glancing out of the window, it was too gloomy to see the sun to figure it out.

In the end, I decided I probably shouldn’t venture out of my bedroom without having a shower first because if anything could help rid me of the anxiety curling in my belly, it was standing under a torrent of scalding water.

It kind of worked. I definitely felt marginally better as I dressed in a pair of cozy sweatpants and a hoodie—the best attire for staying in all day, which I fully intended to do.

I walked into the kitchen, hoping Tanner might be in there, but I found Radley instead doing her best impression of Martha Stewart—orLux—cracking eggs into the KitchenAid bowl as the beater slowly spun.

“Hey.” She smiled. “You want some cupcakes?”

“Um, is that even a question?” I pulled out the stool on the counter to sit, only to walk around to the coffee machine instead. I definitely needed coffee. “Have you seen my phone?”

She shook her head. “No, sorry.”

“What time is it?”

“Just after two,” Radley replied.

I paused from reaching for a coffee cup and turned to her. “In theafternoon?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I would have woken you, but I figured you needed to sleep.”

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