Page 115 of Home Run

Pause.

If they were samples, they were very specific, with a voice uncannily similar to Tanner’s. I’d recognize him anywhere, especially echoing off the bathroom tiles.

And it wasn’t just one recording. Scrolling through them until I reached the bottom—there were thirty-three inall. None of them named, just numbered with the date. The first one from back in the middle of September.

Had Tanner already been recording? And linked our apps together?

Slowly inching my finger toward the screen, I pressed Play.

…your mommy. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. But man, she did not like me. Your momma has fire in her belly, she doesn’t put up with any shit—whoops, sorry for saying shit—whoops again. Anyway, from that very first moment I was smitten…

The recording ended as quickly as it started, right as a lump pushed its way up my throat. I wanted more of the story.

Scrolling through again, I noticed they were all different lengths. Some were short?—

…your mommy’s eyes are the color of hot chocolate. Sometimes I wonder what color yours will be, but I hope they’re the same as hers. They’re so beautiful.

And some were longer?—

…to make the smoothie, I always put blueberries in first, followed by two big dollops of coconut yogurt. Your mommy loves chocolate, so I bought her some Belgian chocolate protein powder, then I add a banana and a bunch of strawberries, followed by a big handful of spinach so she gets her greens and you grow big and strong…

…and your uncle Parker had seen Auntie Scout with another guy, so Mommy and I skated off after them to check it out. One day, when you’re a little bigger, we’ll take you to the rink at Rockefeller, and I’ll show you exactly where I got down on one knee to propose. Everyone cheered and your mom was so mad, I thought she was going to punch me. But that was the moment I knew I would marry her for real someday…

And on they went.

Half an hour later my fingers had gone all pruny, and I’d listened to Tanner going about his day, trying to find his lucky socks, or talking through his routine before a game, plus his workouts, and weirdly, one from Jupiter Reeves reeling off Tanner’s stats during what sounded like the middle of a game, given the background noise.

And then there were ones where he read, where his voice dropped so quietly that I almost fell asleep myself as he narrated a story about the moon, or famous baseball players, or what it was like to be little. All stories he’d picked up on the day we’d gone shopping.

And then I got to the final one.

…today I went to visit your grandpa. I’m sad you won’t ever get to meet him. I’m sad I never got to meet him, though I’ve been assured he’d kick my ass. That’s an ass-kicking I’d gladly take…

I paused it and rewound.

…today I went to visit your grandpa…

I paused and rewound it again.

…today I went to visit your grandpa. I’m sad you won’t ever get to meet him. I’m sad I never got to meet him…

Blood pounded in my ears, I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath while he spoke.

He wasn’t talking about his dad, that wouldn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t the baby meethisdad? No, he was talking about my dad.

Tanner had been to Arlington. He’d visited my dad.

Goose bumps erupted over my skin as my body shook so much the water rippled and I sunk further into the heat of the bath, hoping to stop them, but I couldn’t. My face was already so damp that I barely noticed the tears spill as I played his words over and over until I summoned the courage to listen to the rest.

I told him all about you, how big you were growing, and how I promised to protect you for the rest of your life. You and your mommy. And I had something important to ask him…

The recording cut off. That was it, there was no more. I’d listened to thirty-three recordings, and I’d been left on a cliffhanger.

I stood up as quickly as my bump would allow, water sloshing everywhere, my arms flailing a little to stop myself from sliding.

“Sorry, baby,” I said, stepping out of the tub onto the floor and reaching for a towel. “I don’t say this to you enough, but you have the best daddy ever, and we’re going to tell him.”

Screw baseball.

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