Page 94 of Home Run

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I’m just being grumpy.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I didn’t know where to start. Being jealous of my olderbrothers was not something I wanted to admit out loud, nor did wondering if I was ever capable of loving someone outside of friends and family.

“No, it’s nothing. I shouldn’t even be mad, it’s just…ugh, it’s dumb. I’m tired.” I replied, rubbing across my belly.

I’d gotten to the point where it felt like I was getting bigger every day. The cute plaid pajamas I was wearing had been a little baggier last week, for sure. Pajamas Tanner had bought me.

“Go and rest, take a bath, have a nap?—”

“Maybe later,” I replied, dropping the hot bagel halves I’d removed from the toaster onto a plate.

Twisting off the lid from a jar of peanut butter, I stuck my knife in and scooped out a big chunk. As usual, anytime food of any kind made an appearance, Brinkley wouldn’t be far away, or like right now, drooling by my feet. Cutting a piece of my bagel loaded with PB, I handed it over for him to gobble up.

Brinkley eating peanut butter always brought a smile to my face.

“Doug’s picking up steaks to grill tonight before the game, and your brother wants to make loaded potato skins. Is there anything you want to add?”

“Maybe some salad? Radley’s coming, too, is that cool?”

“Of course, you know Doug, there’s always plenty of food.” She laughed, and the lines around her eyes fanned deeply, framing the sparkle in them.

It wasn’t that long ago I thought she’d never smile again.

I wasn’t sure any of us would. This was my first visit home since Doug had officially moved in and, amazingly, the world hadn’t ended. Photos of my dad were still in the same places they had been before, the rooms all looked the same, the house smelled the same, and I couldn’t find one thing out of place.

And truly, Doug was a nice guy and so different from my dad that it was impossible to see him as a replacement. He worked in the National Archives, for one. That was like two steps up from being a librarian. Everyone loved him.

Just like everyone loved Tanner.

I reached around, wrapping my arms around her, while managing to avoid getting my peanutty fingers anywhere. “I’m glad you’re happy, Mom, I really am.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” she replied, holding me close before pushing me back.

She studied my face, in the way that only moms do, her eyes roaming over me slowly until it was impossible to withstand any more scrutiny.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

She rolled her mouth, stepping away to the sink, where she transferred my brother’s plates into the dishwasher. “You know, Tanner’s different from how I thought he’d be. I like him a lot.”

I bit into my bagel. “Everyone does.”

“Doyou?”

“Of course I do.” I swallowed my mouthful and reached for the rest of my OJ. I didn’t want to ask her why she was asking, because truthfully, I didn’t want to hear her answer.

She was silent for a minute, the only sound the clacking of dishes and glass as she loaded the dishwasher and turned it on.

“Did I ever tell you how nuts your father used to drive me?”

My ears pricked and I shook my head, because that was news to me.

My parents had always seemed to be totally in love, and they had been from the get-go.

When my dad was home from assignments, they were practically inseparable. I barely even heard them do more than bicker, and even then, it was only in jest because my dad would doanythingfor my mom.