Page 59 of Her Athlete's Wedding Secret
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Then your best bet is to listen to her words and assume she was telling you the truth. Otherwise, you’ll drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out.”
“I’ve gone over it many times in my head, wondering what I could have done wrong.”
“No one’s perfect, Benson,” Tessa said. “If she was supposed to be with you, then she’d be here on this honeymoon with you instead of me.”
Tessa’s words shocked Benson. He hadn’t thought about what was supposed to happen. He’d just been going through the motions. He wasn’t sure he believed that there was one certain path he was supposed to take with his life. But pining over Megan didn’t help anything. That would only lead to misery. He wished there was a way he could live in the present with the woman in front of him. He was here in this tropical paradise with a gorgeous bride who cared about him. Wouldn’t it be amazing if he could let go of the past and enjoy what he already had?
The problem was, he didn’t know how to do that. He was stuck thinking about what had happened with Megan. Now that he’d begun to face that dark part of his life, it was harder than ever to stay in the present moment.
Maybe he could take it one day at a time. And with Tessa’s help, he might be able to get through the worst of it. He just hoped that he didn’t chase her off in the process.
“I’m glad it’s you here,” Benson said. He surprised himself when he realized that he meant it. Megan wouldn’t have gone on all these adventures with him. She got seasick, and she hated being out in nature. She’d been all about going to the posh parties and living the big city life. He’d expected Tessa to be the same way since she wanted to live in New York City, but she loved the rugged outdoors. Riding on a horse across the beach, sailing into the sunset. Hiking across rugged terrain. This was no big city girl who freaked out when a bug flew near her. She was the perfect balance of both worlds. She loved the idea of being in the city and being outdoors.
He was beginning to realize how lucky he’d gotten when he’d decided to pick her. She seemed to be a lot more compatible with him than he’d first realized. She even liked to talk about sports and enjoyed sports reporting. Megan had hated sports and complained bitterly when he wanted to watch football. She rarely even came to his games. He had a feeling that wouldn’t be the case with Tessa come fall. She’d had to attend many sporting events as a Maple Creek reporter.
“Are you really glad it’s me?” Tessa asked. “You don’t wish it were Megan instead?”
She sounded so vulnerable when she asked that. Benson couldn’t look at her. How could he let her know that he still had feelings for Megan?
“Naw, Megan wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun as you. She was always complaining.”
That was the right thing to say because Tessa’s face glowed.
“I’ve had a blast with you on this trip,” Benson said. “Especially today. It feels like every day has gotten better. I’m sorry we even had to mention my ex.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you’re opening up to me about what happened. I feel like I need to know.”
“We probably should have done it before we got married so we wouldn’t have had to talk about it on our honeymoon.”
“We both know that our honeymoon wasn’t the traditional kind. We weren’t expecting anything real to happen between us.”
“But it did,” Benson said, climbing some stairs cut into the hillside.
“Yes. It did,” Tessa agreed. “I really like you, Benson. You’re easy to be with.”
“I feel the same way about you.”
“I wasn’t expecting our honeymoon to go this well. I thought we were just going to put on a big act for the pictures, and instead, it feels more and more real every day.”
“I’m glad it’s not fake.”
“Me too. I hate pretending. I’m an honest kind of person. I like reporting accurate stories in the newspaper, and I pride myself on that. Presenting myself to the world in a dishonest way goes against my values.”
“I don’t like pretending either.”
“We’ll get through this,” Tessa said. “One way or another.”
Benson hoped that was true. What if he really did mess things up with Megan like he’d feared? Did that mean it was only a matter of time before he did something stupid to run off Tessa too?
This was why he’d tried so hard to keep himself from developing feelings for Tessa. Because he tended to ruin things with his stupidity and recklessness. He didn’t want to end up brokenhearted again like what happened with Megan.
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to come back from it this time.
