Page 38 of As Long As You Kiss Me

“Why do you feel that way?” Jackson asked.

This was her opportunity to open up to him. Hadn’t she just been saying that she’d wanted to? But it was hard too. She swallowed and pushed forward with the conversation. “I’m still pretty scarred from what happened with Mason.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Why did his voice have to sound so tender? Didn’t he know he was doing funny things to her insides? It was making him harder to resist. But it was best to open up to him, no matter how hard that may be for her.

“Mason was terrifying.”

“What did he do?”

“When he was angry, he broke things. It was usually something special to me, like the little porcelain statue my grandmother had passed down to me. Never his own stuff.”

Jackson’s expression hardened. Was it as hard for him to hear it as it was for her to recall the story? “What else did he do?”

“He got loud when he was mad. He liked to scream so loud that it would leave my ears ringing. Some of our neighbors would hear and confront me about it later. I was so embarrassed. I only wanted the yelling to stop, but I didn’t know how to keep from angering him.”

“It doesn’t matter what you did,” Jackson pointed out. “There was no excuse for him to raise his voice at you.”

“It was so scary. I felt unsafe in my own home all the time. I got pretty good at walking on eggshells. It was ten times worse when he’d drink. We had a few holes punched in our walls from his fits of anger.”

“That’s not okay.”

Sully shrugged. “I couldn’t stop it. Finally, I went to the hardware store and learned how to patch the holes myself.”

“Why didn’t you make him do it?” Jackson growled.

“Because I knew he wouldn’t. And it was embarrassing to have people come over and see the holes.”

“Did you feel like you had to put on a show for the outside world?”

“Oh, yes. We were the perfect couple when we were in public. I didn’t want anyone to know how bad it really was for me.”

“This is making me really mad. I just want to kick his rear.”

“That won’t do you any good. He’d just press charges, and then you’d be the one in trouble.”

Jackson sighed. “I know you’re probably right, but it would make me feel better.”

“If you want to help, then go with me to plant spiders at his place. He’s horribly afraid of them. He just falls apart if he sees a spider. It might be enough to get him to move out. And it’s almost impossible to find a place to rent here lately. Not that Maple Creek has that many rentals available to begin with. It took me forever to find this apartment. The only reason I got it was because I knew my friend Onyx had lost her roommate, and I swooped in and took the spot before anyone else could move in.”

“Why didn’t you just buy a house?” Jackson asked.

“I had a bunch of school loans I needed to pay off. And I’m saving for a down payment right now. I’m hoping to have enough in two years to be able to buy something.”

“I hope it all works out for you.”

“Me too.” They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

“So you don’t feel like you can be in another relationship because you’re too scarred from the last one?” Jackson asked.

Sully twisted a strand of dark hair around her finger. “Pretty much. It’s hard to trust again after what I’ve been through.”

“You mean you don’t trust me?” Jackson said.

“No, I do. I just don’t know if I can handle being in a relationship. My brain is all messed up.”

“I can understand that,” Jackson told her. “But I wouldn’t expect you to be perfect.”

She blinked in surprise. “You? Are you saying you want to make this fake relationship real?”

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