Page 40 of The Rebel's Guide to Pride

I thought for a moment, my brain flashing back and forth between the apartment and the house. “I’d write about the pride flag I have hanging up in my new room,” I said. “It makes me feel at home now because I couldn’t hang it up in my old house.”

Addi thought for a moment, their face lighting up. “I have one of those!” they said. “It’s on my bedroom door, and my daddy has another on the front porch.”

“Write about that then,” I suggested.

They stuck their tongue out at Cohen, and stood up from the table. “I’m gonna get a soda, and when I get back, I’ll get to work.”

I grinned as they stomped off, but my face fell when I saw Cohen’s expression. His damned brown eyes were wide as he licked his bottom lip. My defenses were already up when he said, “That was good, Zeke.”

“Oh.” I sat back in the chair, uncertain if I’d heard him correctly. “Are you sure? Because I can do better. I don’t want to mess this up. Please tell me what to do.”

“You handled that perfectly.” He lowered his voice,checking over his shoulder. “And you’re not gonna mess anything up. I’m sorry”—he held his hand up as I started to object to his apology—“about your dad. I know you don’t wanna talk about him, but can I at least get something off my chest?”

I nodded, chewing on my lip.

“It all makes sense now, how we couldn’t…” I didn’t think it was possible for him to get even redder, but he did. “What I mean is, I’m glad we’re mending things…and I’m sorry for giving you a hard time and being a D-I-C-K to you.”

“I think these kids know how to spell, Coco,” I teased half-heartedly, uncomfortable at his prolonged eye contact. The unamused tilt of his mouth said he wasn’t taking the bait. “Fine, butwhyhave you been such a giant, enormous, massive D-I-C-K to me?”

“Because I didn’t know who you were, Zeke.”

“And now you do?”

“I’m still getting to know you.” He swallowed roughly, his throat bobbing. “What I do know is that you’re doing great things for Beggs. I wish I could be as brave as you.”

Brave?

First Mason and now Cohen had called me that. I couldn’t look away as his eyes crinkled with a shy smile—it reminded me of the way he’d smiled when he asked me to join mathletes. It was like the old me and this new version of me were colliding together, overlapping. And I was suddenly worried that my brain might be glitching over Cohen Fisher again.

Chapter 17

I once had a foolproof plan for studying. It required two components: waking up three hours early and coffee. So much coffee. Each cup only added fuel to my cram sessions, taking me closer and closer to a perfect grade.

Preparing for the next speakeasy felt like that.

Since I’d gotten home last night, I’d been cramming. The pressure was pressuring. I had to prove I could do this. Maybe then Sawyer would think I was brave too. She’d always seen me as her shadow, someone who followed her lead. That had been okay when life was out of my control. Now I knew better.

I have to make this epic,I thought, staring down at the blinking cursor on my laptop. Light from the newly unpacked lamp spilled across the keyboard as my hands stilled. I’d typed up a list for tomorrow. The same decorations from last weekend would work, and Owen the ranger said I could use their sound system. I’d made a playlist before falling asleep, envisioning a giant party and how it’d felt to dance with Mason that first night.

But I wasn’t so sure if that was enough.

With a sigh, I reached for the steaming cup of coffee on my nightstand. I’d been stuck on brainstorming ways to make it bigger. Nothing was coming to mind yet, no matter how hard I searched online for ideas. I took a gulp of bitterness and closed my laptop in defeat.

“What else?” I questioned, glancing around my room.

No reply except for the soft rustle of my curtains in the breeze. I watched sunbeams cut through the gray light for a moment before I realized it was morning. Which meant Mason might be awake.

We’d been chatting until midnight about my best friend woes, and he’d fallen asleep before replying to my last message. The urge to check my DMs had me searching the sheets for my phone. I grinned as a familiar notification lit up the screen, and I unlocked to read the thread.

12:05AM

zekechapman

Sawyer wouldn’t understand why I couldn’t stand up to my father

zekechapman

I need to do this for myself and now she’s big mad because I’m leading the speakeasies even if she is the QSA pres but they were my idea

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