Page 55 of The Rebel's Guide to Pride

Shouts echoed around me as I climbed fast, rainbow material draped around my neck like a boa. Vulgar slurs and curses stabbed at me as I ascended higher and higher. I gulped and risked a glance down at the sidewalk. My fear of heights made me dizzy with apprehension, but I had to keep going.

I couldn’t let anyone see me be afraid.

Another rung, and then another. The billboard’s metalcatwalk scraped my knees as I crawled it with panting breaths. No time to think. I forced myself to stand up and stretched the flag out over my head and…the entire square loomed down below.

Too high up.

I dropped back to my knees and gripped the edge. The metal support beam dug into my palms as I watched the mayor on the pavilion. Same short and neat hairstyle, same obnoxious grin in place as he lifted the microphone like he had a few weeks ago. As my father stood off to the side and applauded him along with the crowd.

“That’s right,” Buchanan said. “Immoral agendas that are threatening our families!” Cheers erupted as his grin spread wider. “Just today I found out the rec center was conducting a mentorship program, shoving their perverse lifestyles in our children’s faces. I’ve immediately ordered it be shut down and defunded. At least as long as I’m in office by the grace of my voters.”

“You have my vote!” someone bellowed.

“Make Beggs safe for families again!” another yelled.

“Don’t worry, folks!” He held his hand up, bringing it to his chest. “I’m well aware of the rumors pertaining to certain illegal events happening right under our noses. With the support of Chapman Law, my Family First ordinance is just the beginning. I’m thrilled to announce my One Lifestyle ordinance. Come this fall, if you reelect me as your mayor, all inappropriate books will be banned from the library!” Roars of appreciation rang out as he paused. “Lessons not authorized as in accordance with our values will be banned in school, and our kids will be raised how they ought to be!” More shoutsthat made his smarmy grin wider, knowing he had them in the palm of his hand. “Together, we can take backourtown!”

My anger spiked as my father continued to cheer. He was still playing both sides. He only cared about putting himself first. This wasn’t acceptance, not meeting me halfway like he’d said on my birthday. Everything he’d claimed to do for my benefit was just another lie.

I glanced over my shoulder at the billboard, at who I used to be. Nerves collided in my stomach, and vomit hit the back of my throat. Because if I hadn’t denounced that version of myself, if my parents hadn’t divorced, if I was still letting him manipulate me…then I would have been forced up on that stage with him. Just like how he had paraded me around the lodge for the firm’s anniversary dinner. A united front. He would’ve found a way to manipulate me into doing it despite it being against everything I was.

The part that hurt the most was that I knew I would’ve believed him, knew all the people in Beggs I would have hurt. “I’m sorry,” I whispered aloud, locking eyes with the picture of myself. “I’m sorry we had to keep ourselves hidden.”

My gaze shifted to the giant picture of the JACass beside me. His beaming face was threatening me, choking me, suffocating me. My hand gripped the flag, harder and harder until my fingers ached. Everything I’d had to deal with this year coursed through me: the divorce, being told I wasn’t good enough, the canceled Pride Day, the future and college and all the mounting pressure.

The mayor’s bullshit speech continued while my breathing went ragged. “I won’t stop until we remind folks what kind of town Beggs is,” Buchanan said, and I hated it. Hated being toldwhat to do and how to live and who to be. I closed my eyes and saw my father standing there like he had before, holding his hand up to stop me.Be quiet.

“No.” My voice came out in a tremor, and then I squared my shoulders. “I refuse to be scared.”

Slowly, I stood and took a deep breath. Turned to face the square and do what I came here to do. However, as I looked below, I couldn’t speak. My voice caught in my throat as I saw how many people were at the rally. How many people were shouting hateful things and waving signs and—Panic recoiled in my stomach. I gagged, and my dinner splashed across the catwalk.

I tried to take a calming breath to ease the panic swelling in my chest. But in between the shouts of “They don’t belong here!” and “Bedolla isn’t right for our town!” I could hear my father.A vote for Bedolla won’t amount to anything,he’d said at dinner. It made my hands shake, vision pinprick. I tried to steady myself, but dizziness brought me to my knees as the rally raged.

Is he right?

My chest threatened to explode with each pump of my heart. It was one thing to see this kind of hate on the news, in cities far away. Places where I thought it couldn’t touch me. It was too real seeing it here in our small town. I’d thought I wasn’t afraid, that I could face the mayor and his supporters and remind them how they were wrong—butIwas wrong.

I was terrified.

Chapter 23

All eyes are watching you when you’re on the pitcher’s mound. The other team is waiting to see if you screw up, and your team is waiting on you to secure the win. Being caught in the middle of everyone’s expectations always made me feel alone. Forced me to steady my stance and roll my shoulders. Breathe through the doubt. Hope for the best while preparing for the worst.

That’s what Pride felt like now.

My grip tightened on the grease rag as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. Between the rattling bass of my old pregame playlist and each thumping heartbeat, I could feel the looming loss of control. Buchanan’s rally had shaken everyone up. It was all anyone could talk about on the Beggs Facebook Group. His supporters fired off cringe comments about Carmen, reinforcing what my father had said. I’d gotten texts from Sawyer and Kennedy claiming it was too risky to host another speakeasy, but I didn’t reply. Whoever the hell bedmas_22 wassent another DM that I couldn’t bring myself to open. None of them understood how suffocating it had been to witness that rally. How terrified I’d been or how much I needed to win the game we’d been forced to play.

I wound my arm back, lifting my leg up, and eyed the shop’s garbage can. Then I let go of the doubt and followed through. The rag shot out of my grip and thudded into the trash.Strike!In my head, the crowd cheered over the chants from last night. The mirror ball’s green light danced above me as I held my arms up in triumph. Nothing could screw up tonight—

The music cut off abruptly, a new-message notification echoing through Roaring Mechanics. I found my phone on top of the toolbox. Another alert dinged.What now?I groaned, opening three new messages from Sawyer.

Today at7:23PM

Sawyer

I know you left me on read

Sawyer

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