Page 78 of The Toy Collector

After a few bites, Lena reaches for her phone that lies next to her napkin on the table. “Should we call the cops? I mean, the man is fucking forcing you by holding your internship over your head.” She lets out a sound of disgust that tells me exactly what she thinks about that. “Not to mention he’s been stalking you, and breaking into your home. They have to take you seriously now.”

Before I know what I’m doing, I yank the phone from her hand and shake my head. “No,” I almost hiss. My eyes widen like saucers at what I just did.

She cants her head, confusion clear in her eyes. “Why wouldn’t you want to, Pipes? If some creep broke into your apartment and sexually assaulted you, and is taking advantage of you at work, that’s pretty much the thing to do.”

I’m embarrassed to meet her gaze as I softly admit. “Because… I might have wanted it.”

“Wanted it? You fucking wanted him to stalk you and deliver shit to your door?”

I quickly shake my head. “No, obviously not that part.”

No longer hungry, I push the rest of my food around on the plate and gulp down more mimosa. With more alcohol running through my veins, I have enough courage to admit the next part.

“I think I wanted the sex stuff,” I confess. “When I sucked him off at the interview, I… loved it. I’ve been really into all of it.”

Trying to explain while untangling how I feel is fucking hard. I know how it sounds, and I don’t agree with his methods. But his results… those I can’t argue with. Every time I’ve felt his touch, or done things he asked, it’s felt fucking awesome.

He’s made me feel strong and desired. So even though his methods are questionable at best, I’m not sure I’ll ever hate the outcome. I even dressedforhim at the Halloween party. I wantedhimto play with my body.

The more I sit here and think about it, the more I realize I wanted it. All of it. Enzo hasn’t forced me, he’s merely coaxed me and provided the incentives I needed to get over myself. Whether that was his intention or not, I don’t know.

But something tells me I would have landed the internship even if I didn’t drop to my knees. Even if I didn’t let him finger-fuck me until I forgot my name.

“And what about what he did last night?” Lena challenges, her tone sternas she interrupts my thoughts. “Don’t let him get away with shit you aren’t okay with.”

“I don’t know how I feel about it,” I admit, licking my dry lips. “I wanted to try it, that’s why I put it on my stupid list in my Notes app.”

“Right. Did you tell him that?”

I shake my head vehemently. “No. But he must have seen it somehow.”

Lena stares at me, eyes round as saucers. “Okay, let me get this straight.” Her tone is all business now. “Let’s focus on last night, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, you made a list of kinks you want to try. Then the same night, Enzo breaks in and does one of the things from said list?”

“Yep,” I confirm.

“How in the hell would he know about your list, Pipes? Did he bug your phone or something?”

There it is, the million dollar question. Well, one of them.

“I don’t know,” I softly admit.

I no longer feel as pissed as I did when I woke up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not happy about it, but I am intrigued. It’s hard to explain. If Iknewhe might do something like that, I think I’d enjoy it. The part that’s pissing me off is that it feels like I didn’t have a choice. Like my participation and consent didn’t matter.

Sighing, I do my best to convey my thoughts, which isn’t easy when I’m not even sure I understand myself. Luckily, Lena is one hell of a bestie. She doesn’t judge, doesn’t tell me I’m insane for not going to the cops.

“Listen.” She reaches across the table, taking my hand. “I want you to be careful. If you want to test kinks with this guy, go for it. If you just want missionary with the light off, you do you. But if you want an active role, it sounds like you’re going to have to make a statement.”

I gesture at myself. “That’s why I’m wearing the boots,” I grin, feeling a whole lot better about everything thanks to her and the mimosas.

Chapter 28

Piper

As we leave, we only make it two steps outside before Lena pulls up short, her head turning like she’s heard something. She grabs my arm. “Wait. Do you hear that?”

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