Page 19 of Long Hard Fall

“No, he and Grandma passed away already.”

“I have a gram still in the nursing home. She’s a firecracker, but her body can’t keep up with all her crazy ideas. Gramps died ten or so years ago. I live in their old house.”

“That house is so cute, so much character.” And that enviable front porch. The stifling apartment Ellis had secured for them didn’t even have a small deck.

“I was raised in it. Gramps sold the farm and ranch to his five boys. My dad got their old house and they moved to town but didn’t exactly retire. Gramps worked out here every day until he died. I wish I could care for it like it needed, but—” he gave her a sheepish smile, “—I’d rather be outside working.”

“You must have a lot of outdoor work with the cattle, the horses, and the farm.”

“It’s great.” God, his smile should be outlawed. “I ride horse whenever possible. I enjoy this, too.” He swept his arm around the interior of the combine. “As long as I don’t have to do it day in and day out. The other guys enjoy it more, except for Brock. He’d rather be digging in an engine.”

She sighed wistfully. “I sit inside all day. Some days are so busy, not even the clock moves forward and it feels like forever.”

Ellis kept telling her she’d get used to it, but each year she was a little unhappier.

Cash’s work sounded adult and responsible, but he loved it. She wanted a job she could love, or at least one that wouldn’t suck the life out of her. She wasn’t meant to nine-to-five it, with the occasional Saturday morning. She wanted to live. “Ride a horse every day… I’ve never ridden.”

Cash whipped his head toward her. “Never? Oh, honey, we’ll have to change that.”

She giggled and ignored the melancholy tug on her heart. He probably called all the girls “honey.” She shouldn’t like it so much.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” A casual question. He was watching the rows and the path of the lumbering beast intently, but she sensed a deeper thread of…something…to it. Was he asking her out? They still hadn’t discussed her brother, yet he wasn’t getting rid of her.

“Uh, I’m doing nothing tomorrow,” she said with a laugh. She had over a week and a half left of nothing.

“Then we’ll cure that never-ridden-a-horse affliction you have.”

She sucked in a delighted breath and gripped his shoulder. “Are you serious? Is your horse okay to ride?”

“She’s as good as new.” His bemused expression was almost a full smile, but he didn’t shake her off. “I have something to do in the morning, but I’ll be home before lunch. And I have a ton of leftovers to eat. Except for the pineapple. That’s all gone for some reason,” he drawled.

She playfully swatted him and kept her hands off him after that. Touching him was like a primal need.

“I’ll pick up another one, though,” he offered, “with some whipped cream.”

She moaned. “Yes! What else can we grill?”

He chuckled. “Anything and everything. Unless it’s twenty below or thirty-mile-an-hour winds, I cook with the grill.”

Her nonexistent deck made grilling frustrating.

“Peaches are good, but we might’ve missed the season. Wanna try bananas?”

“With whipped cream?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She clapped her hands with glee. This is what she’d been missing since Perry died—fun. Her smile faded. She missed joking around with him, with someone who understood her.

Cash’s hand landed on her knee with a reassuring rub. “What’s going on? You grew quiet.”

Tears threatened to well and she swallowed hard. “Losing my brother just hits me sometimes. Especially if it brings up buried memories.” Suddenly, she couldn’t stop talking even if she’d staple her mouth shut. “Like, when I laugh. God, I hadn’t realized how much I don’t just joke around anymore. When did all the fun go away? When did I become so boring that I never laugh anymore? Perry used to needle me constantly, always with the hard time, and I loved and hated him for it, but now that he’s gone, I love him so much for giving me those times.”

She sniffled, fighting to remain composed.

He stroked her thigh and found her hand to give it a squeeze. “Honestly, he hasn’t been gone that long. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday, that’ll I wake up and be sleeping in a tent with nine other guys.” He shuddered and his mouth turned down. Perry had had the same reaction about being in the military. She’d often asked him why he stayed in. What else am I good for, Abs? Anything and everything, she’d shot back. She was the one who limped through college and would rather slam a six-pack than stay up late studying.

Cash’s thumb stroked her hand. “But when I’m out in the pastures fixing fence, those eight years feel like they never happened. Like I never left Moore. It’s weird.”

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