Page 41 of Long Hard Fall

“Is it too early for supper?” Abbi had missed lunch but wanted to get to the dessert. She and Cash had grown closer; it wreaked havoc on her hormones. Had she ever wanted a man more than she wanted Cash?

Sure, she remembered brief glimpses of their first night together, but it was dulled from the haze of alcohol. But then it’d been all crazy attraction and finally letting herself run amok. Now, it was…more.

He sighed regretfully. “I might grab a bite, but I have some fences to mend before we move cattle.” He lifted a shoulder as if in apology. “The guys are planning to help me bring cattle in a couple of weeks, so I have to get everything ready.”

“I can still hang onto my promise of supper. Keep the door unlocked and I’ll bring groceries over and cook you something.” Her smile felt frozen in place. Was he going to refuse? She had zero desire to go back to her empty hotel room and sit around, ignoring Ellis’s texts and calls.

His eyes twinkled. “I can’t promise my oven works after a summer of grilling.” He helped her into the pickup, which was unnecessary, but she’d never complain about his hands on her. “How ’bout we stop and get groceries before we head back?”

She met his gaze. He was asking her to sleep over. The part of her that she’d allowed to have too much say in her life begged her to take things slower, to remember her life back home had been left hanging and that she had to be responsible.

But the other part of her said she’d be a wild idiot to miss out on spending quality time with him—in bed.

“Sounds good,” she said.

He jogged around to hop in the driver’s seat. She enjoyed riding around in his pickup with him. He waved to damn near everyone and drove in the easy, relaxed manner he did everything else in. No constant worry or speculation about his future and where he was going and if he was going to hit the next promotion milestone within his five-year plan. No tightness in his shoulders, no fretting over where to park or worrying about unwanted door dings and scrapes. Cash parked on the far end of the grocery lot where it was sparse, his big truck taking up two spaces.

They strode into the store next to each other and she was peppering him with questions about how he liked his meatloaf. A couple of girls passed them, giggling and greeting Cash. She glanced at him. His good humor didn’t reach his eyes. He was being polite, that was all. After they were clear, his expression was pinched.

“It’s okay, you know,” she said.

“What’s okay?”

“That a lot of girls know you.”

He gave her tight smile. “It’s one thing when it’s in the past and forgotten. It’s different when you’re around someone and you care what they think about the past striding by all but announcing how we know each other.”

Would now be a bad time to fist pump in the air? She wasn’t like the others to him and he’d come close to admitting it. “Say I was your girlfriend; I wouldn’t be jealous of your history. I’d be glad you settled down when you knew it was right and not when your family or society dictated it was. And I’d be even more pleased with it if you treated them right when you were with them.”

His gaze darkened. “They were nothing but hookups. That’s not treating anyone right.”

She threaded her hand through his. Her girlfriend statement had opened a well of longing she didn’t want to face alone. Being Ellis’s girlfriend had taxed her mentally. A girl got tired of never being good enough, of always being judged. Being with Cash was the opposite.

She squeezed his hand as she steered him to the meat department. “If you had made a bunch of promises you had no intention of keeping, then I’d agree. Otherwise, it was you and another adult and a mutual agreement on a temporary transaction.”

He chuckled. “That your fancy way of saying ‘hookup’?”

“Yes. If your previous partners had grand ideas of a ring and wedding dress, but you didn’t lead them on, that’s not your fault.” She towed him to the hamburger display.

He shook his head, his mouth turned down. “Oh, honey. You’re not asking a rancher to buy hamburger at the grocery store are you?”

“Umm…I was going to buy it.”

“Nope.” He led her away. An older man approached and stopped to chat with him.

Cash just introduced her by name, but didn’t release her hand. He was a private man, not showy, but not hiding from others either. Her respect for him grew. The two men talked shop for a while, then they finished their trip.

With an armload of groceries, Cash loaded her and the bags up and drove back to his farm.

This was her vacation and she only had a week left. But she could get used to this every day of her life.

Abbi threw the pan in the oven and set it for an hour. She peered out the kitchen window toward the barn where she caught glimpses of Cash repairing the corrals that held his cows all winter. He was wearing his tan jacket and boots. His rugged jeans fit well enough to be catalogue ready, but as always, he wore a baseball cap. Was the hat his farmer side expressing itself? When Perry had talked about his ranching buddy, Reno, she’d expected a swaggering cowboy, much like Cash, only with a cowboy hat. In so many ways, he defied her expectations.

She grinned to herself and butterflies took flight in her stomach. Pushing away from the window, she looked around. What was she going to do for an hour that didn’t include following Cash around like a lovesick puppy?

The inside of the house could use some TLC. It’s not that it wasn’t cared for, it was just obvious he was a one-man show and everything outside the house was his priority. A light layer of dust lined the shelves, and the rugs could use a beating after the summer season, but she wasn’t going to clean for him. One, it was her vacation and Ellis was probably enjoying her absence because he didn’t have to chase her with a tidy list of atrocities she’d committed. And two, it was rude to be a guest in someone’s home and clean like they weren’t grown-ass adults who could do it themselves.

But boredom was setting in with fifty-five minutes to go.

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