Page 47 of Long Hard Fall

Yeah, he’d asked her to join them. His cousins wouldn’t mind. They might start asking questions he wasn’t sure how to answer, ones he’d have to talk with Abbi about, eventually. What happened after she went home? He couldn’t imagine going back to his routine of heading to the bar for a quick hookup. But then, he wasn’t desperate and he could just hang out at home and either work on the house or Netflix and chill. With the cat. Because that wouldn’t be lonely at all.

He shook his head as he worked the controls to unload the hay bale into the feeder. No, he refused to be scared of his own company. Is that what had kept Mom around so long, so afraid to be by herself that she’d rather raise her husband’s baby from another woman? Or had she been so blindly in love with Dad that she’d been willing to tolerate the affairs? It’d taken several years before Sissy had come along, and while Mom had never discussed fertility struggles, maybe that had had something to do with it.

Fuck, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he didn’t want to be like either parent when it came to relationships. Which was one reason why he resolved, as of now, to quit the bar scene even if Abbi left his ass in the dust.

The cattle were fed, and he idled the tractor back. The sun was coming out. He inhaled deep. Had he just decided to commit to a woman?

Yeah. He had.

But then there was her brother. Could he keep from revealing the depth of her brother’s despair? She couldn’t find out. As a brother himself, Cash reckoned that it’s not what Daniels would’ve wanted. Cash wouldn’t want Sissy to despair over his own personal pain. Hell, he’d protected Sissy from almost everything, just like Daniels probably had with Abbi. No. No way could she learn how depressed her brother had been.

He parked the tractor, tended to the horses, and fed the cats. Alfalfa was the friendliest one. A couple of the others flat-out ignored him, but he didn’t mind as long as they kept mousing.

In case Abbi was still sleeping, he quietly entered the house.

Her words drifted to him from the kitchen. “I’ll come home when my vacation’s done. But things have changed and that’s just the way it is.” She paused. “No, it’s not impulsive. People change.” Something hard slapped the counter. “No, it’s nothing like that. Geez, Mom, why is it always—”

He came around the corner. She had her back to him with her head hanging.

“I’m sorry, Mom, but— No. I’ve tried talking to him, he doesn’t understand.” Pause. “No, I do understand and I’m serious.”

Cash knocked lightly on the doorframe. Abbi spun around, her brows lifted in surprise, one hand twisting in her hair, the other clenched around the phone. She untangled her hand and waved a greeting.

“It was nice talking to you, Mom.” Abbi held his gaze and shook her head that no, it wasn’t a nice talk. “Just try to trust me. I’m doing fine. Better than fine. This was a good decision. Love you, bye.” She clicked off and muttered, “I’m a grown woman.”

“Nice visit?” He crossed to her and kissed her forehead. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“How can they make me feel like I’m ten years old?”

“What are they so worried about? Have you never gone off and done something on your own?” Nuzzling her hair, it dawned on him that he didn’t know much about her personal life.

“To be fair, I don’t have the best track record of decision-making on my own. And I haven’t done anything like this, by myself or with anyone.”

He set her away from him and pinned her with a hard stare. “Be honest. Who’s judged your decisions in the past? And did they use their standards or yours?”

She scrunched her nose. It was adorable. He was toast. “Well…I tend to follow my gut, not consider the consequences.”

“Do you deal with the consequences?”

“Yes. I guess. But I haven’t caused any major upsets. Just a lot of little ones that made my parents worry.”

“News flash, honey. Parents are going to worry no matter what.”

She rewarded him with a small smile. “Brothers, too?”

“We’re a lost cause. Hungry?” He might be okay with his decision to keep the darkness of Daniels’s last days to himself, but he didn’t want to encourage any questions.

She nodded and slumped at the little dining set in the kitchen. “I didn’t get a chance to eat. They kept calling until I answered.”

Her parents were tenacious. He rummaged through the fridge and popped out with eggs and bacon.

“I suppose they’d freak if you told them about us.”

She contemplated him, her gaze solemn. “Yes, they would. It’d be more proof of how I don’t think through things.” She waited a heartbeat, twisting her hands in her lap. “What about us, though? Is this more than…”

He set everything on the counter and faced her. Good, they were having this talk. “Yes, Abbi. You’re more than. Don’t doubt it. I’d like to see where this goes.”

She tilted her head, her expression introspective. Then a smile spread across her and she glanced down at her hands. “I’d like that, too.”

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