Page 55 of Long Hard Fall

The man had seemed arrogant, though. Not in the superficial sense, but intellectually. The way he’d looked at Abbi as if he’d been calming a petulant child had made Cash’s blood simmer. He couldn’t picture Abbi putting up with that. Had Ellis been the guy Daniels had worried about her trading her sense of self for?

Cash shook his head. Daniels had wanted to give Abbi financial freedom and all he’d likely done was drive her deeper into Ellis’s control.

But depression probably didn’t make a soldier think clearly when already thousands of miles away from home.

He wrapped up the feeding and parked the tractor. He half expected Abbi to come rushing out, but she didn’t. He saddled Patsy Cline.

His horse nickered and turned into him. As he patted her neck and gave her a half hug, a smile pulled at his lips while he mentally defended his own actions. There was no shame in a man hugging his horse. She’d saved his sanity when he’d gotten out of the army. Cash had come home, reeling from his broken relationship with Dillon. He’d wanted to come back home so badly, for so many years, but had been dreading it just as much. And then Daniels.

The terror Cash had experienced when he’d lost his friend… He and Dillon had been through some shit before that with multiple deployments, but that had been the worst. Daniels had been the only one they’d lost. Dillon had blamed Cash because he’d known Cash was hiding something, but hadn’t known Cash suspected that what Daniels had done was intentional.

If Cash had been more aware of what the other man had been going through mentally, maybe he could’ve helped Daniels. Cash could’ve worked his way up the chain of command until someone listened to him. They could’ve made sure Daniels didn’t go on any missions until his mental health was cleared. And there’s the big what-if: What if he was wrong?

But he doubted it. Hindsight was crystal clear and full of regrets.

He rode Patsy Cline through the ditches at an easy pace. A couple of miles down the road, he spotted the gray outline of Dillon out for his morning run. He brought his horse to a trot to catch up. Dillon lifted his chin in acknowledgment. Cash steered her to the road and she kept up with Dillon, familiar with the routine. Sometimes Cash went for a run, too; sometimes he needed horse therapy instead.

“How far you going today?” Cash called.

“Five, just on my way back.” Dillon slowed slightly to keep his pace conversational. “I thought you’d be rushing back to hang out with Abbi.”

Cash dropped his gaze to his reins. “Yeah, about that.”

Dillon didn’t slow, but his gaze burned into him. “Did you fuck up or did she?”

The corner of Cash’s mouth lifted. Dillon hadn’t assumed it was all him and that said a lot about how far they both had come since they’d returned home. He explained what had happened. Dillon stayed quiet, keeping his easy pace. As the story poured out, some of the weight lifted from Cash’s shoulders. Maybe it was the bright autumn day that made the situation not as black and white.

Cash finished and the only sounds were Dillon’s steps and heavy breathing and Patsy Cline’s hooves grinding into the gravel road.

“I guess it comes down to if you believe her or not,” Dillon said. “Or if it matters.”

“It matters. How could it not?”

“Because of your parents.”

“Yep.”

They fell quiet again. The entry to their driveways came into view. His on the left, Dillon’s on the right. Dillon slowed to a walk and put his hands behind his head to cool down.

His cousin sighed and mopped his brow. “All I have to say is that I’ve never seen you like this. You took a chance on this girl, and I can’t believe it was for nothing.”

“To teach me a lesson about not taking chances on any more women.”

“I don’t mean to speak like some old wise bastard, but that’s kind of what relationships are. Taking chances. Trusting. If you can’t do that, then you either aren’t ready for a relationship or she’s not the right girl.”

Cash’s first instinct was to argue that Abbi was the right girl. He clamped his jaw shut and glared down the road. “I guess I can choose to believe her, and if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.”

“How are you going to determine that?”

Cash shrugged and swung Patsy Cline toward his driveway. “I guess if she leaves my ass or something.”

Dillon chuckled and then coughed from the exertion of his workout. “That’s one way to look at it. Just don’t expect to rush back in and be where you left off when what’s-his-name arrived. It’s not like starting over, but it kind of is.”

“Listen to you, you wise old bastard.”

Dillon flipped him off and strolled toward his own place, then stopped. “But it’ll be better to be honest about Daniels earlier rather than later. He’s been gone almost three years. It’ll be hard for her, hard for her parents, but better in the long run.” Dillon resumed his trek.

Better for who? Cash could sit on a secret like that and not feel one ounce of guilt. Crashing Abbi and her parents’ world was something he’d avoid. “I think it’s best they don’t know.”

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