Page 66 of Long Hard Fall

“She probably thought she was, too. But finding out Perry killed himself is a whole new heartache to process.” Dillon dipped his gaze to LeDoux’s head. “I should’ve gone there and talked to his parents.”

“You didn’t know what he’d done.” If Dillon had, his drinking after he’d gotten home might’ve been worse.

“No, but I could’ve talked to them. At least eased their minds that they weren’t getting told fabricated stories.”

“If you want to go the shoulda route, then I should’ve recognized Perry was suicidal. I was closer to him than the rest of the guys.”

“Would you really have known?” When Cash didn’t say anything, Dillon continued. “We didn’t know, Cash. And we can’t go back and make ourselves know.”

“Did I do the wrong thing by not telling her?” Because it sure didn’t feel like it. Cash had absorbed all the grief that had spilled off her parents that night. He could’ve prevented that. He could’ve still had Abbi with him. “Was I selfish, telling them? I thought Abbi was going to quit talking to her family over how they were talking to me.”

“I can’t really say what’s right or wrong, but I talked to Elle.” Dillon spoke cautiously as if he was afraid how Cash would react.

Cash didn’t care. If Dillon needed to talk to someone, a mental health professional for a girlfriend couldn’t hurt. “What’d she say?”

Dillon sighed. “The whole situation was bad, there’s no way around it. She never really came out and said either way—counselors are kinda like that. But she felt that the Daniels knowing the truth would help them heal and move on. Same with Abbi. They weren’t making progress before; maybe now they can. But what’s between you and Abbi has nothing to do with her brother.”

He was afraid of that. Just like he was afraid there was nothing between him and Abbi anymore.

Abbi stood in her empty efficiency apartment. It smelled like stale smoke and citrus cleaner. The linoleum she stood on was yellowed with age and the matted carpet to her left would be better off if it was rolled up and used to build a bonfire.

Cash and his cousins had talked about building a bonfire after they finished moving cattle. Had they?

None of her business.

She released a slow breath and thought of the boxes in her parents’ garage she had to load up and haul here. Ugh. Would her belongings pick up the scent of this place?

Home.

She wanted to run. But this dingy, old, rundown apartment signified her future.

She jumped at a tap on the door.

“Sorry to startle you, kiddo.” Dad came in. Was she going to get a lecture about how she’d kept it unlocked?

To be fair, they hadn’t lectured her much in the last month and a half. They hadn’t done much other than mourn Perry all over again.

More guilt piled on. Not just for her brother. She missed Cash terribly, and in the six weeks since she’d walked out on him, the feeling hadn’t abated.

He’d tried calling, but not since the early days after she’d holed up in her parents’ house and left only to do a zombie act through work.

Had she done the right thing?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

She’d been about to relent and call Cash when Mom had started in about Ellis. Nope. None of that again. Abbi had zoomed straight for the classifieds and found this swanky joint. The previous renter had had to serve time and couldn’t make payments. The owner had trashed his stuff and opened it back up to rent. She’d gotten a deal on the deposit.

Dad set the box on the counter. Her favorite dishware. They had fishes on them.

They looked kinda like the trout she’d caught with Cash.

Argh. She had to quit doing that!

“You didn’t have to bring my stuff, Dad.”

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