Page 26 of Kill Your Darlings

“Too mean to die,” Thom said, then instantly regretted it. “God, sorry. Too soon.”

“You’re among friends,” Marcia said. “We don’t have to pretend we particularly liked him, but it’s still a shock.”

Linda’s phone on her desk rang and she picked it up, telling whoever was on the other end of the line that the rumor was true.

“Come into my office for a moment,” Marcia said, rising from her chair.

Thom followed her into her immaculate corner office and took a seat in the comfy chair across from her desk. “I know it’s only July,” Marcia said, running a finger across her empty desk, “but it’s late July and school starts up again in a little over a month.”

“I know. I’ve already thought about that.”

“Alex was teaching two courses this fall.”

“Like always.”

“Yep. He’d put together that seminar on Shakespeare’s contemporaries. All of two students signed up so I think we can safely cancel that, but the department is going to need to find someone to teach his survey course.”

“The department is going to need a new chair,” Thom said.

“Yes, and I’m assuming that you are going to throw your hat into the ring.”

“I hadn’t given it any thought yet, but maybe I will. How about you?”

Marcia thought for a moment, Thom knowing that she wasn’t posturing for effect but genuinely considering the question. He also knew that if Marcia decided she wanted to be chair of the department,it would have everything to do with trying to make the department run better and nothing to do with personal ambition. “I might,” she said at last. “But if you told me that you had your heart set—”

“God, no, Marcia. Besides, I think our friendship could survive a little competition, don’t you?”

“I do,” she said, and looked relieved.

They returned to the outer office, where Linda was still on the phone. After she hung up, Marcia asked her if she’d like to join them at the Thirsty Hare for a drink. Linda declined, not surprisingly, and Thom and Marcia walked across the empty campus toward the bar. It had been a dry summer, and the lawns were withered and yellow. They walked in silence, Thom already starting to wonder if he really did want to push to be the next chair. It would be between Marcia and him, no doubt about that. Don had been there longest, but he’d made it clear he had no interest in advancement.

At the Hare they each got an Ipswich Ale and made a toast to Alex.

“Shall we both say something nice about him?” Marcia said.

“Okay. I’ll start. He had pretty good taste in wives.”

“That he did. They were always too good for him.”

They drank, and Marcia said, “He could be an excellent teacher, when the subject interested him.”

“Yes, thatistrue,” Thom said.

“But a terrible department chair.”

“True as well.”

Midge, the bartender, put a bowl of peanuts between them on the bar, and for a time they silently ate, dropping the shells on the floor, a Thirsty Hare tradition.

When, after a second beer each, they returned to the bright sunshine outside, Thom felt disoriented and slightly drunk. They walked to the department building, and Marcia popped back inside to do some work, while Thom returned to his car. He sat inside its sweltering interior for a moment, sweat creeping out from his hairline, thinking about where he wanted to go next. He knew it was a risk, but he badly wanted to see Tammy, Alex’s wife, and he didn’t want to call her first. Calling her might look suspicious, but a drop-by, just to check on the well-being of the widow, wouldn’t look too strange, he thought.

Alex and Tammy’s house was over the river in West Essex, a modest shingled Cape that was a stone’s throw from a slice of rocky beach. Thom knew that Alex had spent the last year living in the studio apartment above the garage while Tammy had the house to herself. He thought there’d be cars parked out front, but he spotted only Tammy’s BMW in the driveway. Alex’s Mustang was probably still parked near the quarry. Feeling empty-handed, wishing he’d brought some food or even flowers, Thom went up the stone path to the front door. Tammy must have seen him coming, and she opened the door before he had a chance to knock. He was surprised to see that she’d been crying.

“Tammy,” he said, and she stepped outside to hug him.

When they were in her kitchen, she said, “I don’t know why I’m crying, exactly, but I can’t stop.”

“He was your husband.”

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