Page 102 of Goldsin

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Not hours, days, or months.Years.

A decade of my life spent without her. He can’t ask me for more.

His head snaps at the sound of the ceramic shattering, the warm liquid dripping down the counter to the floor. Its scent wraps around us, a comfort before the chaos.

“Getting involved with her makes everything we did until now meaningless!” His rough voice cuts through the hushed silence the maids are trying to maintain.

“Adrian.” I clench my jaw—something I’ve been doing more frequently when talking with him. “This was your idea. If it doesn’t work, that’s on you.” I look him dead in the eye. “You told me until the end of high school, yet you stayed with her for seven more years!”

All the pain I felt during those years comes crashing back down on me. The resentment that shone in her eyes whenever she looked at me. The way the green of her eyes lost the glint it once had. How slowly, torturously, I became a ghost to her. Nothing but a shadow of the past.

“So if Father hurts her, it’s my fault?” A bitter laugh leaves his lips, tainting the sweet smell of the apricot crumble cooking in the oven. “No. I think that’ll be on you.”

Tension radiates between us.

I am so fed up with him telling me what I can and can’t do. I listened to him back then because he gave me a deadline. I won’t stay away from her forever.

I can’t live a life without her in it.

What if Lucian hurts her?the deep voice in my mind slurs.What if she dies? She’ll be gone forever.

Scoffing, I say, “Lucian doesn’t want to hurt her, and he probably never did back then either.”

Who am I really saying this to? Him or me?

I continue. “You were the only one who noticed his interest in Aurelia and came up with the brilliant plan to fake-date her.”

I still remember the way he appeared in my room, hair disheveled, going on and on about how he’d caught Lucian licking his lips while watching Aurelia’s ass saunter away. I remember how his eyes went round when the idea popped into his head:“If I date her, Father won’t look at her anymore. He’s never shown any interest in the girls I’ve dated. But if you keep showing him she’s your friend—or more—he might do something.”

“You really think that?” He shakes his head, looking almost hurt. “She’s a beautiful girl, Julian, I won’t lie to you. But it was still hard as shit dating someone I didn’t love for ten fucking years.

“I did that for you—and for her. I grew up with Aurelia too, you know. I couldn’t just watch Father put his hands on her. I could do something this time. I could help her.”

I could help her the way I couldn’t help Mom.I can hear him thinking it.

But then he adds, “Maybe you should show me some gratitude for what I did.”

“Gratitude?” I clench my fists. “You think I should be grateful for having to watch you date the woman Ilove?” I spit. “I should be grateful for watching you take all her firsts—ourfirsts?” I’m seething by thispoint. “You think I should be grateful for watching her look at you the way she used to look at me?”

“You weren’t there, Julian!” he shouts. “You didn’t notice the way Father would eye-fuck her. It got progressively worse as she got older. He’d look at her like he was seeing a long-lost prize appearing again.”

Of course he did. She reminded him of her mother.Fuck.

Adrian was just trying to help, and I’m being a dick about it.

But I need him to understand.

“I was young and naïve back then. I can protect her now.”

“Like you’re doing with Mom?” he scoffs.

“Yes.” I grind my teeth.

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