Page 134 of Goldsin

Her eyebrows crease, mouth twisting, as she tries tohide the hurt my words caused her. But whatever pain she’s feeling right now can’t compare to the turmoil brewing inside of me at having watched my mother nearly die in my arms.

Because of her.

“Julian, I didn’t expect this to happen.” Her voice is small, tentative.

“Didn’t expect it?” I glare. “You knew exactly what you were doing! I don’t give a fuck that Lucian is dead, but your actions caused harm to my mother, and she could be dying because of you!”

She flinches from the anger slithering out of my pores. From the rise and fall of my chest as I fight for a breath.

Regret overtakes her face. Remorse burns in her eyes.

“You asked for the impossible. You know about my mom. I couldn’t let her live, Julian. You asked for too much.”

I know.

“You needed to wait ...” My lower lip quivers with the intensity of my emotions. “I told you I wouldn’t stand in the way of you killing Victoria—just not the same fucking day she had a meeting with my father!”

“What?” she whispers, color draining from her pink cheeks as she shakes her head. “I had no idea.” Then, unexpectedly, she yells, “You could have told me!”

“Maybe you should’ve trusted me!” I shout back.

We stand there with silence hovering between us, our chests heaving as we stare into each other’s eyes.

There’s a tangible weight between us, suffocating us. A glint of sadness evident in her eyes.

But does she regret it? Would she have waited if I’d told her to?

“Julian,” she tries, taking a small step toward me.

I’d forgive you in a heartbeat,is what I want to tell her.If I had the strength to, I would.

“Let me at least help.” Tears brim in her eyes. “What can I do?” she asks softly.

But I don’t have the strength to forgive her. To let her back in.

Not when my mom’s life is hanging by a thread.

“Stay away from us.” The words are acidic in my mouth. “That’s all you can do.”

I don’t believe a single word.

“You don’t mean it,” she whispers, her head shaking with her typical stubbornness.

I don’t mean it.

“Right now my only family is fighting for her life at the hospital.” My voice pinches, straining, as my throat clogs. “She’s all I have.”

Tears shine in her eyes as she fights them back. Taking another step closer, she murmurs, “I know.” Her voice is heavy with emotion.

She repeats the word as she wraps her arms around me, her warmth erasing the anger boiling within.

My body trembles, and I break down, sobbing into her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks as she holds me close to her, my tears soaking her shirt.

She runs her fingers through my hair, caressing the pain away, but it only heightens it. A hole forms in the center of my chest, and the more I let my emotionslead me, the more I get swallowed by it. Losing myself in it.

The world outside ceases to exist as she holds my weight up.

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