Page 155 of Requiem of Silence

She silenced him with a kiss, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him down. His arms encircled her waist and for a moment, she forgot where she was. Though the air was frigid, Zeli was quite warm. She breathed him in, losing herself in the softness of his lips, and the heat of his body pressed against hers.

Finally she pulled away and gasped for breath. “I love you, too, Your Grace. And I would be delighted to marry you.”

Varten blinked slowly. “Really? Maybe once all the hubbub dies down. Wouldn’t want to steal any of their thunder, you know?” He gave her a cautious glance. “I mean, Ani and Roshon were engaged for years, so there’s no rush. Unless you wanted to rush. Or not.”

She kissed him again, delighting in the feel of him against her. She was so full of hope and joy, it was very possible she might burst.

A chattering trio of women moving past bumped into Zeli, reminding her that they were still on the temple’s front stairs. She took Varten’s hand and they descended.

At the bottom of the steps, a small group of women in Sisterhood robes appeared to be arguing with a couple of rough-looking Elsiran men. Zeli tugged on Varten’s hand and motioned toward the commotion. In wordless agreement, they approached.

“The Goddess abandoned us,” one of the men spat, flinging hisarms wide. “Why don’t you take those robes off and admit the truth—She was just a charlatan, a hypocrite witch who didn’t give a rat’s arsehole about any of us.”

The half-dozen women being accosted looked weary. Though they still wore the uniform, they seemed lost—Zeli’s Song revealed deep wells of emptiness and sorrow within them. Like they were just going through the motions without any other notion of what to do. She recognized most of them—once she’d hoped they’d be her family, now she felt sorry for them.

“The Goddess’s teachings are still a balm in times of need,” one Sister was saying. “They are timeless and Her presence or absence makes little difference in their power.”

The Elsiran man shook his head, grumbling along with his fellows. “I went to temple every week for practically my whole life. Thirty-five years of faith, of believing in Her. And now what? Now we’re left with nothing.” His anger masked deep hurt and loss. Zeli could understand his grief—it was shared by so many of the faithful. What to do when that faith is betrayed?

She moved closer. “What was it about being a follower of the Goddess that brought you comfort?” she asked the man.

The entire group looked at her sharply, surprised at her interruption. She didn’t feel the need to apologize for intruding, the desire to help was strong within her. “All of Her wisdom, all of Her guidance, it hasn’t gone anywhere. It wasn’t even unique or specific to Her. Who among you had the Dream?” Two of the men nodded as well as one of the Sisters.

“Was what She told you in the Dream so profound? Or was it your belief in Her and your joy at being one of the chosen that made it all the more impactful?”

The faces staring at her frowned with confusion. “I served the Goddess, too. I believed in Her. But now I look back and wonder,what exactly was it that we believed in?” She turned to the lead Elsiran man.

“What was it that made you go to the temple every week?”

His brow wrinkled. “Faith. Duty.”

“Anything else?”

“My family.” He shrugged. “Our neighbors. It’s what we did, slept there once a week, hoping for a Dream.”

“Did it make you feel like you belonged to something bigger? Like you had a way of battling hardships and pain?”

He thought for a moment and then agreed. “It brought me peace.”

“And where did the peace come from?” Zeli pushed.

He shook his head.

“Where has it gone?” she asked. She took in the gathered group, which seemed to have grown. “Inside of you. It’s all there. That’s where all feelings come from. Having a Song means that I can sense your despair and your delight, and everything in between. I can feel it growing and shrinking, and I promise you that these emotions don’t originate from anywhere other than inside each of you.”

Her listeners were rapt. “There is a voice within you that whispers quietly. It causes your skin to pebble when you walk a dark alley alone. It resonates with accomplishment when you help a neighbor to bear a burden. It sings in harmony when you meet the love of your life. We are very, very good at not listening to this voice. We want verification from outside of us—from goddesses or queens. We are convinced that someone knows better, that we cannot trust ourselves and so we turn without when we should look within.

“The Goddess’s teachings struck a chord with that inner voice. It is what made you feel that creating community with your familyand neighbors brought joy. That giving to charity and helping those in need was the right thing to do.The Book of Her Reignmay say, ‘It is no burden for those with plenty to spread their excess among those who lack’ but you believe it because of that voice inside. If the book told you that stabbing your mother was the way to achieve the Dream would you have done it?”

The man recoiled. Several others grumbled, affronted at the thought. Zeli spread her hands. “You don’t have to be lost. You just have to find yourself.”

One of the Sisters turned to her, appearing pensive. “I know your voice, it’s so familiar.”

Others murmured in agreement and Zeli pressed her lips shut. Should she reveal that it was her voice in their heads during the attack? They’d all heard her, but she wasn’t certain she should bring it up. Perhaps that should continue to be a mystery.

An Elsiran woman who had wandered over spoke up. “What do you call these teachings?”

Zeli’s brows climbed. “They’re not teachings. They’re just… I don’t know, just thoughts.”

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