Page 53 of Requiem of Silence

“Trouble with the Goddess.”

The smirk dropped from his face. “You can tell me. If it’s a secret, I will keep it.”

She swallowed, gripping her arms even tighter. “Not sure about this one. It’s a whopper.”

“You don’t trustme?” His voice didn’t quite mask his hurt.

“Right now, you’re the only one I do trust.” She discovered the words true as she spoke them.I trust him more than myself.“It’s just that keeping this particular secret might not be the best thing to do. It might be wrong.”

The slight wavering of the lamplight made his eyes seem to glow. She stared just over his shoulder so as not to be distracted. “What if we can’t trust the Goddess? What if She has Her own agenda that isn’t in our best interest? What would we do then?” Her voice was a whisper.

“What did She do this time?”

“Telling you might put you in danger.”

“I don’t care. Tell me. I’ll accept whatever comes. You shouldn’t bear it alone.”

New tears burned behind her eyes at his fierceness. She shouldn’t tell him, but this secret had bored a hole inside her. She could hold it in no longer. “Six weeks ago… the True Father escaped the dungeon.”

The words settled in the air, and she felt immediately lighter. But she’d burdened Varten. His brow creased, but he stayed silent.

“It looked like he had help, magical help of some kind. Since then, She’s claimed to be looking for him, but said he was far away. Too far to hurt anyone here. And She won’t let me tell anyone, not the queen or the Guard or anyone.”

Her throat threatened to close up, but Zeli continued. “I don’t know if keeping Her secret was the right thing to do. I feel like I’ve been doing something wrong, and the guilt…” Her voice hitched and she struggled to breathe.

Varten looked like he wanted to leap from his chair, but stayed across the invisible barrier she’d created.

“Just now, when I went to Her office, I overheard the two of them speaking. They were using some kind of magic so he wasn’t actually in the room, but Varten, She was laughing with him. Joking. They sounded like any other brother and sister, not like… what they are.” She blinked away the moisture in her eyes and struggled to steel her spine.

“And because of that you don’t think we can trust Jasminda?” Varten asked quietly.

“Can she stand against the Goddess? The most powerful Earthsinger ever known?” Zeli shook her head. “What if the Goddess doesn’twantus to get our Songs back? What if Queen Jasminda does something and the Goddess stops her, or hurts her?”

Varten startled. “Do you think She would do that?”

“Didn’t She already let Jasminda die? She’s capable of anything.” Zeli had worked with Her for months and knew for a fact the Goddess wasn’t the same as a normal woman. The power, the long life, they had made Her distant, strange, and cold, not like someone with a conscience, or at least one Zeli recognized.

“So what should we do now?” Varten asked.

What she was about to say might be a mistake, but she kept going. “I think we should go to Gilmeria.”

He stared back, urging her silently to continue.

“The journal’s author implied that Gilmer helped him figure out how to restore lost Songs. And everything we’ve learned about the Gilmerian Archives indicates that it contains a full record of Saint Gilmer’s travels around the world. What he did in Elsira must be there. The exact way to restore Songs could be in the Archives.”

“So you want to go to the Rumpus? And try to get into the Archives?” he asked. “Ani made it sound like there was a contest of some kind—only certain people can gain access.”

“It might be the only hope for the Lagrimari. The True Father is coming back; those wraiths were the first wave and he gloated about returning to his sister. There are still some Lagrimari here with their Songs. He wants them, will always want the power. Our only hope is for all of us to regain our Songs and fight back. We can’t trust the Elsirans or anyone else.”

Varten’s eyes shined even brighter than usual. She hoped he hadn’t taken offense at her comment about Elsirans. But then she realized, his expression was one of pride.

“You really want to do this, Zeli? Seems a little out of character.”

She almost smiled, he’d teased her endlessly about being so cautious, especially in the face of his bravery, but everything she’d hoped for—a future in the Sisterhood, having a place and a home and family—it was all gone now, as sharply as the laugh of the siblings she’d overheard. Like dust through her fingers.

With her Song, she could make her own future. She wouldn’t be at the whims of fate or the powerful.Shewould be powerful. Her Song hadn’t been noteworthy, but it was strong enough to help her rule her own destiny. Strong enough to fight back.

She pursed her lips and nodded grimly. “It is the last thing I want to do. I don’t even know if wecando it. But we have to try, because staying here and waiting for the True Father to attack us again and drag us back into slavery isn’t an option.”

---