Page 14 of The Chemist

Not wanting to seem like a clingy princess, Diesel shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t care.

“Just thought I’d check in and see if you needed a hand.” Secretly, he hoped that Matteo would ask him to help put together what appeared to be a bookcase that the two of them were clearly struggling with.

Throwing a hand his way, Matteo signaledno. “No. I’ve got my hands full trying to deal with an overgrown man-child. Apparently, I need to show my love how to hammer in a nail so that it goes into the wood straight.”

“But I thought you liked it when I go in at an angle,” Ares commented, apparently deciding that his life was not worth living.

Matteo’s eyes flared, giving the room a glimpse into the fires of hell.

“Go,” Matteo growled at Diesel. “I can’t today.”

Fine. Fuck.

Now that everyone was coupled up and preoccupied with their “special human,” it appeared that none of them had any more time for him.

Whatever.He turned and walked back to his room.

But what did he expect? It was only a matter of time, really.

Once inside his room, he began pacing the floor.

The story was always the same. Every time he got close to someone or felt like he belonged somewhere, it all came crashing down around him, usually in a glorious blaze of misery and fire.

First his family. Then his friends. Now these guys.

Did you really think it was going to last?

He’d secretly allowed himself to think that perhaps things would be different with Matteo and the guys, that somehow, he had found a home and a family to which he belonged.

How could he be so stupid? It was all just lies and fairy tales.

Now that they have their special someone, they don’t need a low-life druggie like you.

You’re nothing. You're pathetic. Who could ever love a loser like you?

Not even your family wanted anything to do with you.

They were right. All the voices of his past. He was alone. No one wanted him. No one needed him.

He had just been fooling himself.

Throwing on a pair of jeans and his hoodie, he grabbed his stash of cash from the back of his dresser drawer and stuffed his earphones into his ears.

Blasting Metallica, he closed his bedroom door and walked out of the château.

5

DIESEL

One week later

“Jesus,” a voice gasped from somewhere off in the distance.

The world around him shifted as he suddenly felt light as a feather.

Ahh, he loved that feeling. Floating on a cloud. So peaceful. So light.

His body was jogged, and the joyous, floaty feeling suddenly didn’t feel so light. Now he felt sick.

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