Page 50 of The Chemist

“Diesel? Did you hear the question?” a voice asked, interrupting the insightful argument he was having with the voice inside his head.

Turning his head, Diesel let out a sigh, then removed the sunglasses from his face.

Color and light returned to the room around him, and so did a searing headache thanks to last night’s stargazing whiskey fest. Jared didn’t have a clue about his early morning activities, but he got the feeling that perhaps Zero had caught him. If he had, he didn’t say a word.

“What was the question, Doc?” That should buy him a bit of time to formulate a lie.

How are you going to get better if you don’t answer the doc honestly?that pesky voice inside his head interjected.

Like seriously, perhaps he and the doc should have a talk about the inner voices he kept hearing. That had to be some sort of problem. A tumor? Multiple personalities? An unborn twin?

Perhaps she would give him some nice uppers. Something to calm his nerves and make his head all floaty.

Yeah, you’re making really great progress…

Fuck. You.He told the asshole inside his head.

“I asked you what happened after your trial?”

Oh yeah, his big court case, thanks to his mom and stepdad. Thanks to them, he was arrested, charged, and convicted for a crime he didn’t commit.

Deciding that the only way he would be able to keep his promise to Matteo and get better was by telling the doc the truth.

He let out a sigh.

“The judge found me guilty and sentenced me to two years in a young offenders’ institution.”

“That must have been hard on you,” Dr. Bloom noted, seeming sympathetic to what she had just been told. “And what about your parents? How did they react to your conviction?”

Diesel turned his stare back up at the ceiling.His parents. What a joke.

“Don’t know. They never came to court to watch my case. Once the judge made her decision, I was carted off to juvie prison and locked away with all the other outcasts and undesirables.” He felt his jaw clench. Thanks to those assholes, he lost two years of his life.

“What about when they came to visit? Did they ever show remorse or guilt for what they had done?”

“My mom only came once, and I think it was just because she wanted to know what date I was being released. She never apologized or tried to explain why she’d done what she did.”

Diesel felt his throat tighten up.What mother throws her kid to the wolves and then lets them rot in jail?

“That bitch stopped being my mother the day my pops walked out on us.”

“You seem to have a lot of pent-up anger toward your mother.”

“Uh, yeah, ya think? It’s because of that cunt that I’m as fucked up as I am.” Diesel could feel the anger building inside. It wouldn’t take long before it spilled out in some form of destructive event.

“What do you mean?” Dr. Bloom asked, pen tapping her bottom lip.

“It was during my time in jail that I first tried cocaine.”

He glanced over at the doc as he watched her begin to make all the connections.

“It was about three months in when I tried my first bump with my cellmate. There wasn’t much to do in jail besides sit, eat, work out, and jerk off. Getting high at least took your mind off things and was a great way to numb the growing pain you felt inside.”

Silence fell across the room as Diesel let himself process the words he’d just spoken. It was because of his family’s betrayal that he began to distrust all those around him. Family wassupposed to be the people who you relied on, who kept you safe in times of need. But not his. His didn’t give a shit about no one.

The pain of betrayal and abandonment had been too much for him to bear, so he tried his best to numb it with drugs and alcohol.

“I think it’s probably best if we end this session here. Give you a chance to refocus and digest what we’ve just discussed here today. It was a great session, Mr. Pratt.”

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