Page 87 of The Chemist

His natural reaction was to respond with one of his witty, sarcastic comments, but now was not the time to be his usual jackass self. The man was showing his cards. Letting him peek behind the curtain and see what was really behind those guarded brown eyes.

Taking Diesel’s hand was clearly something that Zero struggled with. And Diesel totally understood the feeling. It was hard to open up and let people in. Showing feelings left one vulnerable to either ridicule or being taken advantage of. Diesel knew those feelings all too well.

After the debacle with his family, he promised himself that he would never let anyone have power over him again. Even with Matteo, it took a long time to learn to trust and let the man in. It wasn’t easy. Matteo worked his ass off to earn his trust and prove to him that he wasn’t a threat. That he loved him and only wanted the best for him.

Was he really ready to let another person into his heart? Could he trust the man sitting next to him? He really wanted to. So far, Zero had shown nothing but admirable qualities in spite of all the bullshit Diesel had thrown at him.

Smiling, Zero began drawing circles on Diesel’s hand with his thumb, a habit that Diesel was starting to really enjoy.

“So tell me about little Zero?” Diesel asked, leaning his body up against Zero’s shoulder.

“My dick?” Zero choked. His voice raised loud enough to capture the attention of the couple in the boat a few feet in front of them.

Chuckling, Diesel shook his head. “No, you idiot. I meant little Zero, as in child Zero. What was it like growing up in the Zero household? Did you get along with your folks? Did you set fire to the family car?”

Zero’s grip around Diesel’s hand tightened.Perhaps this wasn’t the best conversation topic.

“There’s not much to tell. My father was a conman who used to rip people off for a living. He used to take me on jobs with him cus who would ever suspect that a man with a child would try and rip them off? And my mother? She left my dad and me when I was eleven. She went out to the video store, then never came back.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. How do you know that your mother ran off?”

“She emptied all the cash my parents had been saving in a coffee can under the sink and took her toothbrush and makeup from the bathroom. People don’t take that shit when they’re planning on coming back home.”

Feeling his pain, Diesel squeezed his hand a little harder, hoping to force all of his strength into the man sitting next to him. He didn’t like seeing Zero down and wished that he could somehow absorb all of his pain and misery into himself.

Not caring what people thought, Diesel leaned his head against Zero’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but grin when he felt tender lips press against his head.

Zero was a good man.

They had both been through some pretty rough times in their lives, but sitting here, floating through this dark, peaceful tunnel of love, Diesel couldn’t think of a single hateful thing.

34

ZERO

There was something about holding Diesel’s hand in the tunnel of love that set off a warm feeling in Zero’s belly. It had been a long time since he had that feeling, that need to be close to someone, hold them and care for them, even if the person kept pushing him away.

He got it. He understood that Diesel had some major trust issues. He didn’t know much about Diesel’s history, but given that Diesel always met kindness with deep suspicion, he knew that the wounds ran deep.

But there was also a hint of gentleness buried deep within that facade of rudeness and selfishness. Every so often, he would get a glimpse of it.

Take the sandwich as an example. Diesel played it off as no big deal, as a simple gesture with no clear thought attached to it. But in actuality, the act was a glimpse into the man he kept hidden and safe behind a wall of indifference and mistrust. Just like Bruno, the barrier was meant to protect him. Keep his feelings and emotions away from those who might harm him.

The fact that Diesel listened, remembered that tuna and cucumber sandwiches were Zero’s favorite, and then consciouslydecided to pick him up one just in case he was hungry, spoke volumes.

Yes, Diesel might act like a prick to the rest of the world, but like Jared said, it was only a way to protect himself.

Jared was right when he said that people had to earn Diesel’s trust. He wasn’t a man who let people in blindly. One had to prove their worth before he opened that door to them.

Zero hoped that, with time, he would earn that trust and confidence.

“Shall we?” Zero asked, nodding to the Ferris wheel turning behind him.

The sun had set hours ago. The fair was now ablaze with all the bright colors and lights that brought smiles to people’s faces.

Behind him, the Ferris wheel danced, calling to all those who were brave enough to take a spin and lose themselves in the magic of the night.

“Sure…” Diesel whispered, staring up at the luminous structure.

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