Page 38 of Primal Urges

“You going to stand there all night admiring my bedspread? Or are you going to join me here on the bed?” Lucas asked, glancing up from his laptop. “If you’re afraid of touching me, I can pull up one of the chairs from the table.” Lucas nodded toward the small table to their right.

Why was he hesitating? What did he care if Lucas’s arm brushed up against his?

“No. No. I was just trying to figure out how you do doggy style in this miniaturized bed.” He decided to go with humor to disguise his awkwardness.

“Easy. Me on the bed on all fours, with the guy standing right where you are.”

Caden’s cheeks flushed as Lucas gave him a wink. The boy had a funny sense of humor when he relaxed and let his guard down.

He could do this. Lie skin-to-skin next to the one guy who seemed to make his dick hard for no apparent reason.

He was a bull. A tough, thirty-two-year-old biker dude who fucked loads of hot chicks and was secure in his manhood.

He had this.

Flopping down onto the bed, Caden relaxed and decided to just go with it.

“You know, sometimes you act all shy and nervous, then smutty stuff like that falls from your mouth,” Caden teased.

“Oh, sorry. I used to be fun and flirty in another life.” Lucas’s voice was back to being soft and timid. “Sometimes my personalities get crossed accidentally.”

Caden hated hearing the way Lucas spoke about himself. Clearly, he was struggling with being true to who he was while coping with the person this trauma had made him into.

People say our personalities are shaped by our environments and circumstances. Cade could see how a traumatic experience might make Lucas more guarded and cautious. He hoped that, over time, Lucas would learn to trust again and allow his true self to shine through once more.

Without thinking, Caden swung his leg over Lucas’s body, then pulled the little shit up against himself. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.

Holding Lucas firmly against his chest, Caden nestled his chin between Lucas’s neck and shoulder and breathed him in.

“Never apologize for being who you are. You are sweet and funny and smell like apricots and vanilla.” Caden chuckled. “The only thing you need to apologize for is giving a straight man a boner when you flirt with him.”

Lucas let out an unrestrained laugh. “Now who’s being all smutty?”

Caden chuckled. He loved seeing this side of Lucas—all relaxed and cheery. Listening to him laugh warmed his heart. Holding him close to his chest… well, that didn’t feel too bad either.

Originally, he wanted to cuddle Lucas to make him feel safe and special, but holding him close now… he was kind of enjoying it.

Nestling up against Caden’s body, Lucas opened a file on his laptop containing movies and began scrolling through them.

“So, which one do you feel like watching?”

Honestly, he really didn’t care. So long as he could continue to hold Lucas in his arms, they could watch paint dry for all he cared.

Once they finally decided on a movie, Lucas pressed play and linked his finger with Caden’s across his stomach.

“Hey, Cade?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for being so cool and holding me like this tonight. I know that you’re straight, and it must be awkward as hell sitting here like this for you. But I really miss being held by a man and feeling safe like this. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you, the gesture means a lot to me.”

Feeling his heart swell, Caden tightened his arms around the body of his new buddy.

“Anytime, dude. Don’t tell the other guys, but sometimes, I miss cuddling too.” He leaned forward and gently kissed the top of Lucas’s head.

He felt Lucas’s body tense for a moment before it relaxed once again into his own.

He had no idea why he kissed the top of his head. It just felt like a natural response to what they were doing. He hoped that it didn’t make things awkward between them.

---