Page 131 of Hard to Resist

Cullen is quiet for a moment. The silence stretches, just the noise of bickering from the reality show filling the space.

I don’t think he is going to answer my question. It’s something that has come up here and there, but he’s never gone into detail about it. I’ve gathered enough on my own to know that it has something to do with his divorce, but like most things pertaining to Celine, I don’t pry.

Since getting back together, we’ve kind of just ignored her as a topic. It’s probably not the healthiest thing to do in the long run, but it’s been working for us so far. After the incident at the restaurant, though, I can’t help but admit she’s been on my conscience more than I’d like.

“When Celine and I separated, it wasn’t pretty.”

His words are quiet and measured, barely registering over the sounds around us. I grab the remote, turning the volume down enough that I can hear him but not so much that our words will be able to reach Hannah in her room.

I snuggle back into his chest, resting my cheek on his pec. I figure it’ll be easier for him if he doesn’t feel the weight of my stare. His fingers curl up and down my arm in a calming motion as he speaks.

“RARE Realty was just taking off. All my savings went into the company, and I was close to closing on my first multimillion-dollar deal. Things were supposed to be perfect. They weren’t. Our marriage was broken, and Celine was determined to take everything from me. We’d gotten married young, before we’d even graduated college, and things like a prenup never crossed our minds. We spent weeks arguing, lawyers attempting to mediate the verbal war we were waging. By the end, I wasdesperate. The fees were bleeding me dry because Celine would’ve preferred us both to go broke than to lose. In one hopeless moment, I caved, told her I’d agree to whatever terms so long as she would divorce me. She said she never wanted to see me again.” He lets out a sigh. “So, I signed an agreement that said I wouldn’t live in the city for ten years; the same amount of time we’d been together, we would also be separated. There were other clauses, divisions of assets, but that was the real kicker.”

It sounds absurd.

Yes, divorce can be messy, and there are horror stories out there of spouses losing everything in the battle for separation, sometimes ending up without even a penny. But to agree to such a stipulation, something that wasn’t monetary, is like nothing I’ve heard of before.

“Why did you separate?” It’s barely a whisper past my lips, my heart beating erratically at the uncharted territory we are wading into.

I hate to press the issue, but I have too many questions.

The venom that pours from Celine’s tongue when she is around Cullen seems to be a deep-rooted poison. That he agreed to a settlement that made him vacate an entire state seems not only dramatic but suspicious—and I hate that I feel that way, that I have this seed of doubt.

“It was my fault.” Those four words crack like ice on a frozen lake. “Since we were teens, Celine has always flourished under attention. She demands it when she walks into a room, her natural beauty and sharp tongue able to snatch all who are close. It’s what drew me to her, that intoxicating personality and drive to be the best. But as the years drew on, it became suffocating and noxious. I had my own dreams, so I became neglectful and put my needs ahead of hers, working obscene hours to further my career. Her resentment festered; any time we were in the same room, she would throw barbs and accusations. Eventually,that anger morphed into hatred. I didn’t realize what I had turned her into until it was too late.” He drops his head into his hands, massaging his browbone with the heels of his palms. A deep and utterly exhausted sigh leaves his body.

I shift, ignoring the sharp pain that still gnaws at my stomach, and place a hand on his shoulder.

“We hit our breaking point just after her twenty-fifth birthday. I’d been closing in on that big deal and had been late to the rooftop party she was throwing to celebrate Delute Designs hittingFaber Magazine’s Industry Movers list. I found her completely drunk, clinging to one of our mutual friends in the hot tub—”

“She cheated on you?”

I can’t help the outburst, my hand tightening around the fabric of his shirt. The Celine he is describing is completely opposite of the one I know. She is so by the book, always put together without a strand of hair out of place. Everything she does is controlled, as though she views life like moving pieces on a chessboard. Celine as a sloppy drunk, flinging herself at men, is a total contrast from that—one I can’t even imagine in my mind.

“No. She didn’t cheat, but that’s not what I thought at the time.” He looks up at me. “I completely lost it, yelling at her in front of everyone we know. We both said things we shouldn’t have, especially not with an audience. It was humiliating for both of us. Videos circulated of the fight. The client Celine had just landed dropped her because they didn’t want someone unprofessional representing them, and the deal I’d been about to close on hit a standstill. The seller wanted a second opinion, but I knew it was because of the optics. Celine and I were ruining each other.” He gives me a sad smile. “So, I said we should get a divorce, and here we are.”

The story is so disheartening. Yes, Cullen isn’t perfect, and I can see how he is the villain in Celine’s story just as much as she is in his. But it is clear their relationship had turned toxic, that as they changed as people, their love wasn’t able to withstand it.

I think back to the guys I dated in high school; the person who I was back then is nowhere near the person I am now. I can’t imagine being married to any of them. In fact, I would probably strangle Brad Johnson while he slept next to me.

My twenty-fifth birthday is around the corner. Yes, I want to get married, but being married right now? I get stressed over the price of groceries and having to remember to book dentist appointments. I can barely keep track of my roommate, let alone a husband. To get divorced on top of all of that? No, thank you.

I’m surprised either of them are still standing.

I’m not trying to make excuses for Cullen. I am just attempting to see his world through my own eyes.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh that matches his wonky smile.

I realize I haven’t said anything in the last minute and that he must have taken my silence as judgement.

“No. No, I was just thinking.”

“About how bad it is.”

“About how hard it must have been.” I shift so that I am facing him on the couch, and I grasp his hands, holding them between us. “No one’s perfect, Cullen. Even those who we think are put together are breaking somewhere on the inside. Is your story a little more dramatic than most? Yeah. But I’m not going to judge you for something that happened a decade ago.”

It explains a lot about Celine. Why she always insists on being the pinnacle of professional when dealing with clients, why she keeps such an eagle eye on how we behave inside and outside of work, why she views relationships as ticking time bombs.Everyone heals from a breakup differently, but some people become permanently scarred. Celine is one of those people.

It isn’t fair that I have to bear the repercussions of her divorce, but I am human. There will always be a bead of sympathy inside me that rationalizes her behavior.

---