Page 165 of Hard to Resist

“Oh, fuck.”

There are six outgoing calls to Verity.

Rafe peers over and taps twice on the screen, bringing up the log.

“Well, at least she didn’t answer. Although, looks like you left a five-minute voicemail.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Would you rather see that she picked up and you had a conversation?”

“No.”

He closes the lid of his laptop, placing it on the coffee table, and then shifts to face me.

“I’m going to regret saying this, but—” he lets out a sigh “—do you want to talk about it?”

I haven’t completely filled Rafe in on the situation. Mostly because he isn’t exactly the person to go to for relationship woes, but also because I hadn’t wanted to get into the details. I told him that Celine found out about Verity and me, and everything had gone to shit. The wound is still too fresh, and talking about it would just be like pouring alcohol onto the raw flesh.

But I am slowly dying inside.

If I don’t let the poison out, it will kill me.

“I don’t know what to do, man. She said she wanted space, but for how long? Will enough time pass where she is able to forgive me, or am I already fucked? Is she just doing it to distance us? I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to deceive her. But,fuck, I did. I lied to her. I didn’t tell her that Celine and I were still married because I thought it would ruin everything.”

“But it did anyway.”

“I know! But how was I supposed to tell Verity that, yes, Celine and I are exes, but also, we are still legally married because the chick refuses to sign the divorce papers even though we signed a separation decree that stated she would sign them if I left the state for ten years. So, yes, according to the law I’m in a marital relationship, but for all other intents and purposes I am single, and that’s why I would like to date her. Do you think that’s an easy situation to explain?”

“No, because everything involving Celine is always a little fucked.”

“God, I wish I’d never married her.”

“I did tell you to wait.”

“You are no help.” I drop my head in my hands.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to gain her trust back. This is the second time we’ve gotten into a fight because I hadn’t been transparent with her regarding Celine. The worst part is, I don’t blame her for turning her back on me. In fact, I’d be more surprised if she’d stuck around.

I fucked up.

I know that.

But I also don’t know if I could’ve gone about it any better way.

Maybe if she’d heard it from me, maybe if Celine hadn’t gotten to her first, I could’ve softened the blow but…

It doesn’t matter. I’ll do whatever is necessary to win Verity back. I did it once before, and I will do it again. I might be a flawed human, but I know I can’t let her go.

I spent ten years closing myself off and believing that I would never be capable of love again. Ten years thinking that I’d had my one chance at love and that it had turned to dust. Ten yearsthinking that there is something wrong with me, that I’m not worthy of someone else’s affection. Ten years believing that I’d never find someone who could spark my heart again.

And then I met her, and she turned my world around.

Verity is the one truth in my life, the one shining light who proved to me that my heart could heal and that Celine hadn’t shattered it to pieces.

I never got a chance to tell her that.

I never told her just how broken I was in those first few years after the separation, the way I threw myself so heavily into work because, if I had a second to breathe, I’d realize just how isolated I was. Celine cut me off from everything I loved. She ran me out of the city I’d grown up in. I was wallowing in hurt but also self-pity.

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