Page 124 of Ride the Sky

The night air is humid, the mountains tall and looming, stars like white stones in the sky.

The feet of my walker drag the earth, over pebbles and gravel and weeds. Walking the edge of the highway like it’s a tightrope. Too close, too dangerous. Every so often, a car or a truck rushes by, leaving me in the whip of the wind. My thigh trembles with the movement, but I force myself onward, as quick as I can go, as painful as it is.

I have to move. I have to keep going. Because if I stop, the bad thoughts take over.

The roaring in my ears builds like a cyclone. I fucked up. Unforgivable, what I said to Ruby, to Reese, to my family. I was a raging witch, uncaring about anyone I hurt. A monster like Aiden.

Why?

Why can’t I get over this, over him?

Because he hurt you, a voice says.He took advantage, he lied, he made you weak.

Weak. The word sends my insides into a tailspin.

Weak because I can’t ride.

Weak because I can’t let anyone in.

I couldn’t stop myself from lashing out, from the anger that bubbled and churned in my veins.

The muscles in my bad leg protest, the ache in my hip like dry ice.

I deserve the pain.

I deserve worse.

Adrenaline crackles inside me at the whizz of traffic at my back. My walker bravely tackles the high grass along the side of the road. If I could, I’d let my soul hitch a ride and go someplace far and away.

But a small voice inside me reminds me,You already tried that didn’t you? And how did that work out for you?

My vision blurs.

Failed. I failed.

I lost.

“Fallon.” A rough voice behind me. “Fallon, wait.”

Shame crashes into me. I gasp but keep moving. A big hand grazes my shoulder. And then there’s Wyatt, his warm, steady presence coming out of the dark and into the glare of the headlights.

“Fallon, are you fucking insane? Where are you going?”

Vision blurring, I stumble over a rock, surge forward. “Go away, Wyatt.”

“You’re drunk, Fallon, and you’re unsteady. You’re gonna get hit.”

I fight past the burning in my eyes. “Good. I deserve it.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” His hand grabs my elbow.

I jerk away from him. “Leave me alone.”

“Please, Trouble. Move away from the side of the road. Please.”

The break in his rugged voice stops me. Stops my heart. Slowly, I turn to look at him.

He stands with a hand out, as if he can shield me from the cars, then quietly, he says, “If you get hurt, I’ll never forgive myself.”

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