Page 125 of Ride the Sky

Forgive

Forgive

Forgive

I wish I could.

“No more running, Fallon. I won’t let you.” He moves closer, stones clicking beneath his boots. “I’m here, okay? I’m here. Let me help you.”

It’s Wyatt and the kindness in his eyes. Something shatters inside of me.

My fingers fall from the walker, too weak to hold myself up any longer. I collapse to my knees in the wet grass, cover my face in my hands, and weep.

Gut-wrenching, animal-like sounds I haven’t heard since my mother left.

I weep for everything. For the way I treated Ruby, for my mother who’s never returned for her little girl, for my dreams gone to ash, but mostly, for myself.

A weight beside me, steady and warm. “Fallon.”

“Don’t.” I thrash my head. “Don’t touch me.”

“Why?”

“I’m awful.” It’s unbearable, the gentle way he holds me. His kindness.

Fingertips on my cheek. “You’re not awful.”

I shudder into my hands. “I am.”

Words build on my tongue, shrieking to get out. The guilt buried so deep in my fucking guts erupts until I’m a mess a torrent of tears, of words.

“Aiden,” I whisper.

Wyatt tenses.

“Aiden hurt me. He hurt my sister. My father. He came into my life becauseIlet him. Because I was stupid and didn’t see.”

“That’s not your fault.” Wyatt’s voice is pained, choked.

“It is.” I nod into my hands, bow lower. “I didn’t see what he was. I should have seen it—I should havedone something. I didn’t fight hard enough—I didn’t—”

I break down, sobbing into my palms.

Wyatt’s arms surround me, strong and safe. He pulls me into his lap, tucks me tight against his chest. “Get it out, baby. All of it.”

Words I’ve never admitted to anyone tear from my lungs. “I was weak. I was stupid.” I let out a wrenching cry. “I can only imagine what you thought of me.”

Voice laced with pain, he says, “I wanted to kill the man who hurt you. I wanted to fucking blow up the world when he took you from me. But not once did I ever think you weak or stupid.” Wyatt’s big hand strokes my hair. “You’re strong. And tough. And you survived.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” I weep in his arms, holding on to him for dear life. “I hear Aiden at night, what he said. I feel him, his hands on my body, his words in my ear, those binds on my wrists.”

Wyatt freezes.

I hang on to him tighter, feel the racing of his heart against mine. “I let him touch me. I let a man like that, who did awful things to my sister, touch me.” As I ramble on, I’m reminded it’s not just a story I’m telling. It actually happened to me. “I had to leave. You, Koty. My father.”

“Baby, why?” The way his question catches in his chest tells me he’s been waiting for this for a very long time.

“I didn’t want to be a burden. I knew you were looking out for me. I almost got you hurt.” I shudder at the memory. “Every time I rode those bulls, I hoped they’d kill me.”

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