Page 34 of Reluctantly Yours

“You didn’t.I’m sorry for what he said and how he was.I can’t say I didn’t know it would be that way, but knowing something is going to happen and witnessing it are two different things.He always goes further than I imagined.”

There’s still something he’s not telling me.I felt it just as clearly as I felt the soft sheets under me and the beat of his heart beneath my palm.There was something else he was holding back.But he was stubborn and didn’t trust easily.

I was naïve to think he would feel like he could trust me, no matter how much we have been through together.No matter how many nights I spent in his bed, sneaking out before dawn in case Sofia decided to wake up early and come looking around for her grown-ups.It hurt a little, the sense that he was holding me at arm’s length.What could I do to make him understand I wasn’t going to use anything against him?I wasn’t going to hurt him.

If there was one thing I picked up during that nightmare of a dinner, it was how much he must’ve been hurt by that monster at the head of the table.“Can I tell you a secret?”I whispered in the dark, touching my head to his shoulder.He grunted softly, and I continued, “I didn’t know people like him existed.Not really.”Just mentioning that awful man left a sour taste in my mouth.I could find something good in just about anybody, and some people challenged the hell out of me while I tried.But Harrison Knight was a lost cause.

“Yes, he’s real.”His chest rose and fell in a sigh.“Now you know why I didn’t want to go.There is nothing human in him.He doesn’t bother trying to hide it,” he murmured as his hand stroked my hair.It was a good feeling, the kind I wanted to sink into.

“I’m really sorry I pushed so hard to go,” I whispered.“I should have trusted your judgment.”

“You couldn’t have known.But yeah,” he added with a snort.“Maybe trust my judgment.I know what I’m talking about.”

“Okay, don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back,” I grumbled, nowhere close to being serious.

“Please…” He laughed.“I had a special rich guy surgery that lets me pat myself on the back without injuring anything.”

“Hmm.I figured you had enough money to pay someone to pat your back for you.”

He snapped his fingers, scowling.“Dammit.Now she tells me.”

Somehow, I managed to laugh with him, though the questions in the back of my mind refused to quiet down.How could a sweet woman like Mrs.Knight stay with a man like her husband?Duty?Did she really love him?Or was she dependent on him?I couldn’t imagine being trapped that way, and I was more glad than ever I would never fall into that trap.Even if I had a man like Travis at my side, something long-term, I would want a job of my own—security I didn’t have to rely on anybody else for.Life could change in the blink of an eye, after all.

“I’ll tell you something,” he offered, lifting his head a little to look at me.He was wearing something close to a grin.“I didn’t know there were people like you, the way you describe your family.Loving and supportive, spending time together.I didn’t know families like yours existed, and now that you’ve met mine, you can see why,” he added with a snort of laughter.

“But your mom is so sweet.”

“She is.”His voice softened with fondness.“Anything that’s ever been good about me is thanks to her.Even when Dad insisted I had a nanny when I was growing up because all of his friends’ kids had nannies, she went out of her way to find the right one for me.”

“I’m glad she did, even if I don’t envy those poor women.Whoever they were.”

“Hey.”He gave me a brief, halfhearted scowl.“I was a perfect angel.”

I was thinking more about his dad harassing those women, but bringing him up wouldn’t help anything.“A perfect angel?Hang on a second,” I said, scooting away from him until I was on the other side of the bed.

“What are you doing?”he asked.

“Getting out of the way so I don’t get struck with a bolt of lightning after the lie you just told.”

“Not a chance.”He grabbed me and pulled me close no matter how I squealed and wiggled.“If I get hit, you’re coming with me.”

It scared me a little how good it felt to be with him when he was lighthearted like this.How easy it was to care.The more I learned about him, the more I wanted to know.The better I understood him, the more I dreaded the day when my six-month contract was up.There was still plenty of time on it, more than three months, but already there was an ache in my chest that got a little stronger every day I came closer to the end.I wanted to live in the moment, but there was always part of me looking toward the future.Wondering, hoping but too afraid to voice those hopes.

But wouldn’t it be nice if he didn’t want me to leave?Now that I knew Sofia and loved her more than I thought possible, I couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to her or her daddy.The idea left me chewing my lip to hold back a wave of emotion.

For now, our laughter died down, and we settled into silence, lost in our thoughts.I wanted to stay awake, to absorb as much of this as I could, but sleep showed up and pulled me under.

Leaving me to dream about a future that might never be, no matter how much I wanted it.

15

TRAVIS

“You’re leaving early.”Lauren offered the observation without any further comment as I strode from my office.I had to remind myself she didn’t mean anything by it, even as the observation brought me up short and left me wondering who she thought she was talking to.

“I can catch up on anything else I need to work on at home.”Was she hoping I would send her home early since I would be gone for the rest of the afternoon?She could keep hoping.There was too much admin work to juggle.“You know how to reach me.”

Why was it so difficult for me to admit the truth?Sofia was starting school next week, and I wanted to spend a little time together.Between that and the ever-looming expansion kicking off in early December, I would see less of her than ever.I always knew that was possible, even probable.

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