Page 42 of Reluctantly Yours

“I want to be alone.”Walking to the window, I added, “Thank you for listening, and I hope you understand that story goes no further than this room.”

“Okay…” Her disappointment rang out loud and clear, but she was out of luck.I had embarrassed myself enough for one evening.For the rest of my life.“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I said, gazing out the window and seeing nothing beyond the glass.How could I, when that afternoon in the study kept playing on a loop?

Penny took the hint and left me alone without another word.

Alone was good.I was safer that way.If anything, I could thank Nicola for reminding me of her betrayal before I made the mistake of opening myself up to someone new.

I’d made the right choice.

But I didn’t have to like it.

18

PENNY

How did everything fall apart all at once?

For days, I thought it over.I dissected every word, every glance, every conversation we had ever shared.I thought… well, I used to think a lot of things, and obviously, I had deluded myself every step of the way.Because an entire five days passed in which Travis never once made an effort to make up for the things he said and the way he acted.

Even worse than that, he basically became a ghost, only haunting the house early in the morning and late at night.I would hear his footsteps in the hallway after I went to bed.Once or twice, those footsteps slowed down close to my door.I would hold my breath, waiting for him to knock.Or maybe to fling it open all at once.

He never did.

He kept walking, pacing his bedroom, the sound loud and clear when I poked my head out to listen.

I, of all people, understood what trauma could do, and what he had described to me qualified.I didn’t want to imagine the ugliness of finding out my spouse not only cheated on me but did it with one of my parents.Not that I would put anything past his father.

But to take it out on me?

Not only on me.

I wasn’t the only one feeling the change in the atmosphere.

“Why is Daddy sad today?”Sofia asked, helping me set the table for Thanksgiving dinner.To think, I had looked forward to it so much.Now, the thought of sitting down at the table with him only filled me with dread.

“He’s not sad.He’s busy.”That was the safest response and not entirely untrue.He was busy taking his pain out on someone who only wanted to help.I was being naïve, thinking that was possible.If all of the time we spent together and everything we shared wasn’t enough to prove I cared about him—even loved him—nothing would work.

For now, it was a matter of going through the motions.Keeping things normal for Sofia’s sake.Pretending I wasn’t brokenhearted, imagining his pain, wishing like hell he would trust me.Why wouldn’t he come around and at least speak to me instead of avoiding me like the plague?

Dinner was supposed to start at four.I pulled the serving dishes from the oven, where I’d been keeping the sides warm, then called out, “Turkey’s served!”I could almost believe I felt cheerful.

Sofia’s feet pounded down the hall.“Come on!Gobble gobble!”She had spent the day making turkey noises, something I was starting to wish her teacher had never demonstrated.Her hand was wrapped around Travis’ as she pulled him along behind her.

He looked tired.A night spent pacing would do that.I took in the circles under his eyes, the way the corners of his mouth tipped downward.Still, seeing him after days of getting nothing but the occasional text about Sofia was a gift for my bruised heart.It leaped in my chest as he sat in his appointed chair.

He managed to glance my way before announcing, “Everything smells great.”His gaze darted away, and it took everything in me not to beg him to look at me, talk to me, hold me.What had I done that was so wrong?

Sofia’s excitement straightened my spine as I approached the table with a platter of carved turkey to go with the potatoes and other sides.Somehow, I managed to smile, saying, “Here we go.Eat up.”

“Mashed potatoes, please.”Sofia couldn’t notice my weirdness or her dad’s distant attitude when she was so hungry for all of the food.“And turkey and rolls.”

“And green beans,” I added.She heaved a sigh but nodded.

“This is delicious,” Travis murmured after taking a bite of turkey.“Really good.”

“Thank you.”Wow.This was almost as awkward as dinner with his parents.

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