Page 44 of Reluctantly Yours

I folded my arms on the table, lowering my voice.To hell with keeping the peace.To hell with glossing over everything with a positive word.Some things needed to be said.“Listen to me because I mean every word of this.You are a cold-hearted son of a bitch for what you just did.”

His head snapped up.“Listen to you,” he muttered, releasing a silent laugh.

“Laugh it up,” I whispered fiercely enough to wipe the smirk off his face.“She’s not laughing.She’s heartbroken.”So was I.It was a miracle I was still breathing now that my heart was in tatters.I channeled it, used it to fan the flames of the anger I felt for Sofia’s sake.

“What would you rather do?Get her hopes up?”

“Dammit, if this was what you wanted, you should’ve told her ages ago.To give her the chance to get used to the idea.”

His nostrils flared, and his jaw ticked as he set his silverware on his plate.“I have my reasons, which are my business.She is my daughter, which makes her my business, as well.Thank you for everything you did for her, but none of it gives you the right to lecture me.”

“Bullshit,” I spat.It was rewarding watching him react in surprise, even shock.Satisfaction poured over me, warm and comforting.“We both know what this is all about, so why don’t we drop the pretenses and get straight to it?You hate the fact that I know about what happened in your past.You hate the idea that we might get close, and I might hurt you.You hate it so much, you would kick me out of your life if it means not getting hurt again, no matter how it affects your daughter,” I concluded.

He absorbed my whispered tirade without reacting, waiting until I went quiet before asking, “Are you finished?Or is there some other brilliant insight you want to share?”

You are just like your father.It would’ve felt good to get that off my chest and out in the open.There would’ve been a solid few seconds when I was on top of the world, knowing I had slid the knife of truth between his ribs.But then, those few seconds would end, and my pride would sour.I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I had hurt somebody I used to love.Still loved.If I hadn’t, none of this would’ve hurt as much.Instead, I bit my tongue, screaming inside but staying silent.

He tossed his napkin onto his plate, shrugging.“Let’s call it what it is, Penny.We had fun.You were good with Sofia, and you never have to worry about getting a glowing recommendation from me.I have nothing but positive things to say.”

“Then why?”I demanded, tapping my fists against the table as hard as I dared.“Why are you making me leave?”

“This was a six-month contract.”

“To hell with your contract!You could extend the damn contract if that’s what really matters, but it isn’t.Right?”Folding my arms, I sat back in my chair, fighting the impulse to run, scream, and cry.I forced myself to face him head-on.“Well?I’m right, aren’t I?”

His sharp jaw ticked again, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of assuming it meant he was fighting his emotions.Denying himself.He was probably working to come up with another excuse for his cowardice.“What do you want me to say?”he asked.

“I want you to tell me why!Why did you change?”There.It was out.I couldn’t take it back.

“Maybe I realized how wrong it was for things to get out of hand between us in the first place,” he suggested.There was no smirk this time.Nothing but flat, emotionless words my brain refused to believe.“Or maybe you saw more between us than what existed.”

Had I?Dozens of memories flooded my mind all at once—memories of dinners together, the secret grins we used to exchange whenever Sofia said something funny, the day we took her to the hospital, him taking my hand after we walked away from his father’s dinner table, and the absolute security I felt at his touch.“I can’t believe that.I won’t.”

His shoulders lifted.“That’s up to you.”

He wouldn’t give an inch.I had to get through to him.I had to make him see.“You’re not just a cold bastard.You’re a coward.”

That did it.He arched an eyebrow, his eyes glittering.“Excuse me?”

His reaction gave me the courage I needed to keep going, and once I did, the words came pouring out.“You heard me.You are a coward.I am sorry terrible things happened.I am sorry you were betrayed.But to use that as an excuse to push me away?That is pathetic.You don’t have the guts to try again.You would rather break Sofia’s heart.You are just like—” I stopped myself just in time, swallowing the urge to compare his cowardly actions to those of his father.I couldn’t do it for Sofia’s sake.Things were already so heated, and he didn’t understand that behind the cold mask he wore were actual feelings.

I bit the inside of my cheek.It wasn’t worth it.It was best if I left quietly.

His mouth twisted, his expression darkening with irritation.“Now, who’s the coward?”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning you can pretend all you want that this… whatever it is,” he muttered, waving a hand at me.“Is all for her sake.Why don’t you admit you forgot the terms we set?It’s not my fault if you got the wrong idea.I never led you on.”

My God.He was right.He never led me on.He never gave me a single hint we would stay together, personally or professionally.I had made everything up in my head.This was on me for giving him so much of my heart without being asked for it.

I was wasting my time trying to force him to admit something that didn’t exist in the first place.He was the boss.I was the naïve employee.I had wasted six months on a fantasy.“You need to talk to Sofia,” I whispered, defeated.

“Once again, I can handle my daughter on my own.”He pushed his chair back, wearing a scowl that turned him into the image of his father.Again, the impulse to let that insult fly was tempting, but I loved him too much to do it.

Some people didn’t want to be loved if it meant opening themselves up to being hurt.He was one of them.That fear was stronger than anything he might have felt for me.

So strong, I sat at the table long after we were finished eating, staring at the blank nothing that was my future now that I knew for sure I could never be enough to make him forget the past and take a chance on life.

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