Page 46 of Reluctantly Yours

Neither will Sofia.The thought of her made my heart sink.Nothing I did could make her happy.No amount of promising everything we would see together in the city when I had free time.No amount of promising all the fun she would have with Eloise when I was busy or that the rest of my time would be hers.It wasn’t enough.I wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t yet midnight when I pushed back from the table.“I should get to the hotel, let Rose off the hook.She’s already been so kind.”Colton offered to go with me to pick her and their girls up.

With promises to see each other in the morning the rest of the group split up, everyone heading to their respective hotels and homes.

“Listen,” Colton offered on our way out to his car, where a driver waited.“I’m not saying I understand what’s going on with you right now, and I don’t believe that having kids makes me an expert, but Rose sent me this.”

He handed me his phone, where a text from his wife read like an accusation.

Rose:The poor kid is so sad.I heard her crying when she was getting her pajamas on, and she said she misses Penny the most at bedtime.

I hadn’t caught my breath by the time he tucked the phone in his pocket.“If all of this is because you got too close to Penny, but Penny wanted to stay, you should have tried to hang onto her.We all saw the way you looked at her when we had dinner last time you were here.You wanted to feast on her, not the meal.”

There was no use in arguing.I had already argued with myself since that night in my office when I bared my soul and immediately regretted it.“It’s not that simple.”

“It never is, or maybe it’s just that we make things more difficult for ourselves than they need to be.”

He let me keep my thoughts to myself the rest of the way to The Plaza, where Rose sat curled up on the sofa in the front room, watching a movie.“She’s fast asleep,” she whispered on our way down the hall.Her girls were asleep in the third bedroom, the room Penny had slept in the last time we were here.The room where we were together that first night.

I should’ve taken a different suite.

“Thank you so much,” I told Rose as she and Colton carried their daughters to the front door.Both girls were out cold, the way only little kids could sleep.What I wouldn’t give for that kind of sleep.

I would drop Sofia off at their penthouse in the morning, where she would stay with their nanny, Bianca, and their girls.We confirmed those plans before they left, then I locked the door and turned off the television.Not that I’d be able to sleep.I was a kid on Christmas Eve, bursting with nervous energy and anticipation.

And guilt.Enormous, crushing amounts of guilt.Guilt, which left me reaching into my pocket for my phone.I might not be able to set things right with Penny, but I could return Mom’s multiple phone calls over the course of dinner.I’d promised to check in with her sometime before the ship launched, but of course, other things kept getting in the way.

Standing at the window overlooking Central Park, I called her, ready to apologize for leaving her hanging all night.“Hi.Sorry, I’m only getting back to you now,” I murmured when she answered.

“It’s all right.I knew you would be busy.”

Something in her voice made me stand up straighter, pay closer attention.“I take it you are still not coming out?”I asked.It was a long shot, thinking Dad would let her make the trip to support her son.

“Sweetheart.”She heaved a sigh.“As much as I would like to be there with you, I’ve decided to take a trip on my own.You don’t need me there, feeling the way I do.I’m on my way to the airport now.”

“A trip?What’s going on?”And why did she sound like she was on the verge of tears?“What did he do?”I blurted out because it was the only logical conclusion.He did something to her.He finally broke her spirit.

“I’m sorry.I am so sorry.”Soft weeping reached my ear from thousands of miles away.“I wasn’t going to do this.I only wanted to wish you luck tomorrow.I’m going to your Uncle Stephen’s house in Monterey for a little while.”

Mom’s older brother hated my father as much as I did, if not more.Uncle Stephen hadn’t been in the same room as him in at least ten years.“But why?What happened?Do I need to come out there?”

“Absolutely not.”Then she whimpered.“I wish you had told me.”

I closed my eyes and braced myself.“Told you what?”

“I wouldn’t have pressed the issue for so long if I had known what he did.”

Fuck everything.

Fuck him, fuck Nicola, fuck the weeping Mom tried to silence but couldn’t.

“How do you know?”I asked, wincing at the sound of her pain.

“She came here.At first, I thought I was imagining things.I couldn’t be hearing her voice.You insinuated she was unfaithful when the two of you split up, so I was understandably angry and wanted to ask what right she had to enter my house.I found her in the study with your father.She was shouting, he shouted over her.She blamed him.Told him…”

“You don’t have to say it,” I urged.

“No.I want to.All this time.It needs to be said.”She drew a halting breath.“She said it was his fault.That if you hadn’t caught them together, none of this would’ve happened.The divorce.She would have her daughter.She would have her husband.He accused her of taking the money and running, not caring until he called and bought her a plane ticket to town.It was ugly and vicious.”

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