Page 8 of Reluctantly Yours

He had already said more than enough, and it was nothing I didn’t already know.I was going to have to suck it up and deal with my personal distaste for Penny since, in the end, Sofia mattered most.She needed stability, which meant I couldn’t go through nannies like Kleenex, no matter how they grated on my nerves.

No matter how infuriatingly tempting they might be.

4

PENNY

My first week of nannying for Travis Knight was a real learning experience.I had never been through boot camp but couldn’t imagine it being more challenging or exhausting.

Not that I was complaining.Who would complain about living in a mansion?I had a huge room all to myself, my own private bathroom I didn’t have to clean, though I kept it tidy for the housekeeper, and an enormous kitchen where I could bake to my heart’s content.Travis had even seemed to accept the idea of me setting up an art room for Sofia, somewhere she could explore and create.What was the point of having three empty bedrooms if one of them couldn’t be used that way?

If only it didn’t seem so much like pulling teeth to get more than a grunt out of the man paying me to live in such comfort.The very handsome, very stoic man who made my stomach flutter every time he entered the room.He was always civil, but that was pretty much as far as he went.Not that I needed him to, like, pat me on the head or tell me I was doing a good job.I wasn’t a child, though the difference in our ages probably made me seem like one in his eyes.

It was just that until now, I never knew what it meant to live in a household where there was anything less than openness, generosity.Not the kind measured in dollars and cents, but the kind that came from inside.Being open.Being willing to laugh.We had always laughed so much back home when all of us were together.There were times Mom and Dad were sure we would get kicked out of a restaurant for having too much fun, cracking each other up.We just liked being together.

It is not my job to create a happy household.That had to become my mantra over the course of the week.I wasn’tMary Poppins.I couldn’t fly around with an umbrella, and there was nothing in my carpet bag.I was just me, and my job was to take care of a sweet little girl whose dad loved her but was much too busy to devote his full attention.

I was a quick learner, though, so he couldn’t fault me for that.After moving in on Tuesday night, it took me the following day to get up to speed on schedules, expectations.Sofia was normally out of bed around seven thirty and liked to play with her dolls in her castle.She woke them up, dressed them, and gave them pretend breakfast.

While she did that, I would fix actual breakfast, then call for her to come downstairs.After eating and tidying the kitchen on days when the housekeeper didn’t come in, it was time to wash up, get dressed, and decide what to do with our day.

Cecilia, the housekeeper, was in on Friday morning, whistling to herself as she cleaned the kitchen.Having another adult to speak to was nice and helpful since she’d sometimes drop little pearls of information that helped me understand what I’d gotten myself into.

“You’re my favorite of the girls he’s brought in,” she confessed as I fixed breakfast.“There was no talking to them.Always with their heads in their phones.”

“Sofia didn’t like them much, did she?”I asked, thinking about all the little complaints she’d voiced in comparison to how well we got along.

Cecilia waved a hand, chuckling.“You can’t fool that child.She knows quality when she sees it.”The way she smiled when our eyes met told me I had made the grade, and her approval left me glowing with pride by the time Sofia sat down to eat.

Afterward, we decided to go to Brentwood Park.It was a beautiful day, and Sofia had woken up with even more energy than I would’ve expected.It would do her good to run it off for a little while.Heaven forbid she be too bouncy and loud by the time her father came home from work, not that there was ever any way of knowing when that would be.

He couldn’t help it,I reminded myself as we walked to the park, holding hands the whole way.He was doing his best, the way everybody always did.I knew there had to be a reason for his grumpy attitude, and it didn’t have anything to do with me, even if it felt like it did.I couldn’t decide whether it hurt more because he was so gorgeous or because I wanted so badly to please him, to bask in the warmth of one of his rare smiles.

“This is fun,” Sofia decided as we walked, our hands swinging back and forth.“Marissa never took me to the park.Or Darcy.”

“I guess not everybody likes going to the park,” I offered.No wonder Travis had gotten rid of those girls, whoever they were.It didn’t sound like they were super committed, but I didn’t know their stories.Maybe they had their reasons.“We have fun together, right?”

“So much fun!”she shouted, like she wanted the whole world to hear.“Maybe tomorrow, we can go to Disneyland!”

I coughed softly to cover up my laughter.“I don’t know.That sounds like fun, but we’d have to get your dad’s permission for something like that.”

“Oh.”It was like a cloud passing over the sun, the way her energy dipped.“Maybe next time.”

“What’s wrong, munchkin?”I asked when we stopped at the corner just before reaching the park.“What’s on your mind?”

“Sometimes grown-ups don’t want you to do fun stuff,” she mumbled.“I say, Daddy, I’m a big girl.I can do stuff.But he doesn’t listen.”

“That can be tough.”My heart ached when she stuck out her bottom lip.It quivered pathetically.“Can I tell you a secret, though?”

If there was one thing kids loved, it was hearing a secret.Her head bobbed up and down like she had magically forgotten to be upset.

Crouching next to her, looking both ways to make sure nobody could hear us, I whispered, “Most of the time, grown-ups don’t want to say no.I know your daddy wants you to have a good time.He wants you to have fun.”

“Really?”She looked skeptical.

“Really.But he wants you to be safe too.Disneyland is a big place,” I pointed out.“Super busy and full of people.I’m sure he would rather be there with you to make sure you’re safe.Besides…” I added with a grin, “… he would want to come, too, right?It wouldn’t be fair if we went and had fun without him.”

The funniest thing happened.Her delicate eyebrows knitted together as her head snapped back.“Not my daddy,” she informed me.“He doesn’t do fun things.”

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