Page 31 of Shield

Valentina mockingly pointing out that I don’t even know where Matti lives flashes across my drunk brain, and I bare my teeth at him snarling like an animal. “I didn’t fucking know you lived here. You never brought me here, remember? You had to keep your side piece hidden from your woman,” I say, jerking my head toward the club where I assume Valentina is waiting for him.

We stare at each, scowling, our shared gaze an electric wire practically crackling with intensity.

The wind blows, cutting through my buzz, leaving me shivering. “Fuck, it’s cold. Go fuck yourself, Matti.”

I turn toward the doors, but he’s faster. He steps up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my back flush against his bare chest. “No fucking way you’re going back in there dressed like that.”

“Says the guy who’s half-naked,” I snort, irritated but considerably warmed by the heat emanating off his skin. I ignore his erection growing harder by the second against my back. “And I look hot as shit. This outfit is perfect for my purposes. Maybe I need to take a page out of your book and go find my next fuck,” I snarl.

“Exactly my point.” His voice is low and gravelly, his lips next to my ear, as he slides one hand down over my hip.

He feels so good, his arms wrapped around me, and his sexyvoice, that I start to melt into him, hallucinating that maybe he means that he’s my next fuck. I catch myself and angrily squirm hard, fighting to break free from his grasp. “Your girl is in there without you with her tits hanging out. Why don’t you go find her, spankherfor dressing like a whore in public. Does she like it when you use your belt, too?”

His hand freezes on my hip, and he tightens his grip around my waist, his cock instantly like iron. “Do you like it when I spank you with my belt, kitten?”

I have to remind myself to breathe as heat flushes my skin red. Shaking my head as if I’m shaking off his ability to fuck with me, I try to pry his fingers off my hip. “It’s none of your fucking business. We’re not together, remember? You just fucking said it. Let me go, Matti!”

His voice hardens. “Not until you listen.”

It’s literally useless to waste my energy fighting against him. He’s way too strong, and I’m fading fast. “Fuck! What?!”

“Valentina is not now, nor has she ever been my woman.” He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out with resolve. “I would never cheat on you.”

“I didn’t mean ‘cheat’—” I hiss, but he cuts me off.

“Regardless, the lipstick, the scratches: she’s a drunk mess, and even if she weren’t, we are not together. I’m not sleeping with her.”

“Riiiighhhttt,” I slur, my knees buckling.

He whips me around to face him, and everything spins hard and fast.

Shit, I’m going to throw up.

Planting his hands on my shoulders, he ducks down to my height and turns me until I make solid eye contact with him.

God damn, his blue eyes are so fucking gorgeous. His mouth… Iwant so badly for him to fuck me with that mouth…

“Siena! Do you hear me?” His eyes are searching my face, and my mind rewinds through the past thirty seconds like a slide show, playing back what he said and processing it.

Not sleeping with Valentina, wouldn’t cheat on me.

“Yeah, except you forgot one thing,” I say, holding up one finger and tapping his cheek.

He clenches his jaw, glaring at me. “What’s that?”

“You fought forher. You protectedher. That guy at the bar attacked Valentina and you stepped in and stopped it—even though you know she deserved what she had coming! And I didn’t! I didn’t have any of it coming.”

His expression goes from irritated to confused. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Siena.”

“I didn’t do anything, nothing at all exceptlove you—” He blinks, his eyes widening, and his mouth drops open slightly. It takes me a minute to register the look on his face and realize what I said. I back pedal hard. “Love being with you, I just loved being with you, okay, and you let that asshole take me. Beat me. Rub his disgusting dick all over me.” I choke back a sob. I’m definitely wasted, because I never cry. Never. “You didn’t protect me. But you’ll protect her.”

“Fuck, Siena—” His face is pale, stricken, and he looks like he’s the one who’s about to throw up. “Baby—”

“And not only did you let it happen, you threw me out afterward,” I say, pressing my fingers to his gorgeous lips. My voice drops to a hoarse whisper. “Threw. Me. Out. Put me on a plane with her so I could see who you really love. Mocking me. Letting me know you could never love a mess like me when you can have someone as glamorous as her. Because that’s the difference, right? You like fucking me, but you loveher? You’re the kind of guy who protects the woman you love. Which means you never loved me. I mean, of course you didn’t. You barely know me. And I barely know you. I don’t know why I feel so—” I stop my drunken rambling, swallowing hard, my vision watery as I stare into his blue eyes that are darkening by the minute. Why can’t I shut the fuck up? I can’t stop myself from whispering, “Do you kiss her like you used to kiss me? Fuck, I’m so stupid.”

I turn and fall to my knees, puking on the sidewalk. God, it feels like my stomach is turning inside out as I retch and retch until everything comes up—the tequila, the hamburger, probably even the pizza I ate when I was 10. Ugh, gross.

I feel Matti crouching beside me, holding my hair and rubbing my back. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers so softly that it sounds far away, like a dream. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

---