Page 46 of Shield

“Want to know another secret?” I ask, tugging on the chain she’s wearing around her neck gently. When she nods, I smile. “This is mine.”

She frowns. “What? The necklace? Olivia said it was hers.”

“I know. I didn’t tell her to say that, but she knows what it is. I put it on you when I sent you back home. My mother gave it to me when I was a kid and I’ve worn it everyday since she died. I put it on you so that you would have her protection when I couldn’t be there with you. She would have loved you, Siena.”

Siena’s eyes grow cloudy as she looks up at me, sliding the pendant up and down the chain slowly, her chest rising and falling heavily. “Oh my God,” she breathes. “Matti, I—I don’t know what to say. I—Thank you.”

Her expression darkens, as if it bothers her to say those words to me. Panic starts to rise in my chest. I don’t know if I can fix this, if she’ll let me. And I don’t know how I can live without her.

I pull her into me, burying my face in her hair and breathe deeply. “I’m so sorry, Siena. For everything. But I never took my eyes off you, baby,” I whisper. “You were never alone.”

Siena hangs her head, limp, her arms hanging by her sides. “Alone?” Her voice is flat, emotionless. “I’m always alone. I’llalwaysbe alone now that Emily is gone.”

Without warning, she leans fully into me, pressing her cheek against my chest. I grip her tightly as she lets out one long moaning whimper, the sound searing through my soul. I can feel her heart cracking into pieces.

I pick her up and hold her close to me. She doesn’t cry—she never cries—but I know my baby is breaking.

I walk her over to the couch, and lay down with her in my arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. Her whole body trembles and she entwines her legs with mine, digs her nails into my skin, her face buried in my chest, breathing me in. “Give me all of your pain, Siena. I’ll drown in it if it takes away even a second of your heartache. You’re mine, baby. All mine. I claim you, all of you, every torn piece, every shattered memory. Now and forever. Give it all to me. You’ll never be alone again, kitten.”

22

Matti

Ispend the next few hours watching Siena sleep, studying the contours of her face, memorizing every detail of her skin, every shadow cast by the soft rise and fall of her breathing. It all feels too precious to look away from.

When she wakes, her lashes fluttering open to find me watching her; she doesn’t tense or pull away. Instead, she melts into me, a quiet purr of contentment escaping her lips.

I press a kiss into her forehead, keeping my lips against her skin for as long as I can. She reaches up, dragging her fingertips lightly over my cheek, sending a shudder through me. I hope she can feel the words I still can’t bring myself to say.

When I finally pull back, she takes my face in both hands, her dark eyes searching mine. I don’t know what she’s looking for, but she seems to find it.

“No more secrets?” she asks.

I nod.

“What do you need to tell me about Liana?” she whispers.

I close my eyes for a long moment, then open them, glancingaway from her. What happened with Liana is not anything that I have talked about with anyone, but I promised Siena no more secrets, and if I’m ever going to earn her trust, I have to tell her everything.

Opening my eyes, I take a breath, unsure how to begin. “Liana is the reason I always make you say out loud what you want, kitten. She’s the reason I remind you that you can say ‘no,’ that I would never ask you to do something you don’t want.”

I don’t want to tell her this. I don’t want her to hate me. Steeling myself for her response, I exhale hard and continue.

“I was a kid, twenty years old. Thanksgiving break. Some girls we knew from high school were home. Vin and I took them out to a club, then brought them back to the estate, trying to impress them with his private island. I ended up with Liana. It was just a hook-up, but I was an asshole. I fucked her…the way I fuck.”

Siena blushes, dropping her gaze, then looks back up at me, nodding.

“She seemed into it. She never said ‘no,’ never told me to stop. In fact, the opposite. When we were done, she went to go hang out with everyone, and I passed out in Vin’s room. A few hours later—” I stop, dragging in a breath before stealing a glance at Siena. I’ve never been afraid of anything, but her reaction to this? It terrifies me.

She says nothing but threads her fingers through mine and holds my gaze without wavering, her beautiful dark eyes full of compassion. Buoyed by her quiet strength, I continue.

“I woke up around 4 a.m. It was still dark. I went to the kitchen for water. Walked past the study, saw the light on. Went in and—” My throat tightens. “Aurelio was sitting on thecouch, one of his men cleaning up. And Liana—” I swallow hard. “She was on the floor naked, her eyes open. There was blood everywhere.”

I can’t look at Siena, and she doesn’t move. “She was dead?”

I nod, squinting my eyes shut, steeling myself against the horrific memory. “It was my fault. The paper in Aurelio’s hand was a letter Liana left behind saying I raped her, and she was so ashamed that she couldn’t live with herself.”

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