Page 79 of Shield

“Why’s that?” Her insults feel more honest than her compliments, so I relax and lean up against the door frame.

“I don’t know.” She waves a hand lazily in the air. “They always hate me because their men want to fuck me, so I just hate them first.”

“And then try to fuck their men?”

“And then try to fuck their men.” Valentina bursts out laughing, and I can’t help but smile. She’s a crazy bitch, and I can’t decide if this side of her is endearing or terrifying.

She sighs. “But I’m not trying to fuck Matti, just so you know.”

I raise my eyebrows. “That wasn’t the vibe I was getting.”

“Don’t get me wrong. That man is hot as fuck and if he wanted to dick me down, I wouldn’t say ‘no.’ But I fuck with him only to fuck with Vin. Vincenzo. Vinny Vin Vin.”

Wow, she is so fucking high right now.

“Okay,” I say slowly. I can’t get mad at her for that sentiment. It’s honest. Matti is hot as fuck. “You’re into Vin?”

She waves her hand. “Oh, that is a looooonnnngggg story. Too long. But no. I’m not even remotely into Vin. We were kids when we got together, andhewas in love withme. But I was a real cunt. I treated him like shit.”

I nod. That tracks. “So, why are you fucking with him now?”

“He’s a good man, too. I fucked him up. He hasn’t been with anyone since me.”

I frown. “He hasn’t been with anyone since he was a kid?”

“No, no, no. I mean, he’s fuckedeveryone. But he’s like Matti. He doesn’t do relationships. But Matti found you, and I hope Vin finds his woman, too. But he has to deal with the shit we went through first.”

“And… you think fucking his best friend will help that in some way?” I ask.

“Naaaah. It’ll piss him off, though. And then we’ll fight. And then we’ll talk. And then he’ll forgive me. Andthen, he’ll find his someone.” Her eyes are closed, and she’s slurring. And making no sense.

“You get some rest, Valentina,” I say.

As I close the door, she says, “Matti’s next door.”

Taking a deep breath, I stand in front of Matti’s door, my hand on the cool metal. He’s in there. Alive or dead, I don’t know.

I push the door open and choke back a sob. Matti is under the sheets, pale, his bare chest rising and falling softly under the sheet, the monitors beside the bed beeping. He is so gorgeous, his sharp jaw line, the angles of his muscles hard and commanding. But he’s so vulnerable.

Vin’s voice echoes in my head:“He took a bullet saving your life.”

Unable to help myself, I go to him, carefully pull back his blankets, and move his arm with all the lines attached. Crawling in next to him, I make sure not to touch the bandages wrapped around his torso and tuck in close to him. Laying on my side, I nuzzle his shoulder and drape my arm across his chest. Ghost my fingers lightly over every detail of hischiseled chest. Breathe in his scent.

“My love,” I whisper. “You are such a good man. But I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me about Franco.” I pause, my voice catching in my throat. “One minute you’re telling me how strong I am and the next you’re hiding things from me that I want to know—that Ineedto know. I was searching for answers, and you didn’t tell me that my own brother—”

A sob chokes me, and I swallow hard. “God damn it, Matti. If you fucking go and die before I can—Fuck, I was so fucking stupid.”

The weight of what Franco did, the loss of Emily, the truth about my father’s death, plus seeing Matti like this, pale and hooked up to monitors, slam into all the questions I have spinning around in my head. It’s too much for me to take, and a torrent of sobs pours out of me like a storm.

For the first time in years, decades, I cry. I don’t just cry, I sob and shake and wail, my tears drenching my face and rolling down Matti’s chest. “Fuck, Matti, I’m so sorry I missed the first time. I’m sorry you got shot. I’m so fucking sorry! But FUCK, why didn’t you tell me?”

I stay there like that, sobbing and holding him, releasing all of my heartache into him, for an hour, maybe more, utterly exhausted, my body and spirit drained when I finally begin to quiet.

I’m half asleep when the door opens. Tommy and the man who checked me out at Matti’s after Aurelio attacked me are standing in the doorway. They exchange a look, and Tommy lets out a sigh of relief.

“Siena,” Tommy murmurs, coming over and smoothing my hair. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“What? Why?” I ask, confused, terror stabbing through me.Are they going to drag me back to my room and shackle me to the wall so I don’t escape again? I dig my fingertips into Matti’s chest and slide my leg over his.

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