Page 20 of My Last Dance

“You okay?” he asked in a gentle tone. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you so…unsure of yourself.”

Hearing him say the truth of how I felt made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest. I opened my mouth two, three times to talk, but closed it each time. When I finally spoke, it took a huge effort to keep my voice even. “Patrick.”

“What happened? I thought you guys decided to stick it out ‘til the Olympics?”

“He dumped me last night.” I cleared my throat. “That’s why I was trying to go home. It’s for real this time. I’m not going to the Olympics. It’s done.”

Silence descended in the room and it felt like it was pressing in on me from all sides, suffocating me, making it harder and harder not to cry.

“Didn’t take you for a quitter, Viper.”

Echoes of the past reverberated in my brain as indignation burned in my chest. I flipped around to face him in the dark. “I don’twantto be.” A burning lump formed in my throat. “Everyone else is quitting onme,” I said, hating how weak I sounded. “They’re forcing my hand. The world wants me to quit.”

I waited a full minute for him to respond.

“It’ll be okay,” he said quietly.

“I don’t know about that,” I whispered. “Now everyone knows I’m a bitch. No one wants to be my partner. I ruined it all.”

“Hey,” he growled, turning to face me. “You’re not a bitch. I don’t want to hear you say that ever again.” He sounded mad, like when he was reprimanding those teens back in Chicago.

“But I’m…” I searched his eyes. “I’m not a nice person.”

His face cracked. “Bullshit.”

“I’m not.”

His jaw clenched as he studied my face. “Did someone say that to you?”

I shook my head.

His face softened. “Then tell me why you think that.”

“I want to win. It’s all I care about,” I said in a small voice.

“Lemme ask you this—do you want other people to lose? Do you want everyone else to fall? To get hurt? To get sabotaged?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t care about anyone else,” I said weakly. “I don’t even think about anyone else. I just want to bemybest and win.”

“Well, there you go. There’s a difference between wanting to win and rooting for others to lose. You’re competitive, that doesn’t make you bad.”

His words released me of a little guilt…but still… “People don’t like me the way they like you, Kappy. I have, like, two friends in the whole world.”

He rolled on his back and folded his arms under his head. “Now that’s just false. Yeah, you have Ali and Mer, that’s two. Patrick is definitely your friend, that’s three. You also have me, Colt, and JP, you’re up to six. Lucy is, like, obsessed with you and wants to be you when she grows up.” He smirked. “That’s seven. And you know that Hans loves you like a daughter, that’s the only reason he puts up with your spoiled ass. We’re not going anywhere. You’re not a bitch, you’re a viper, there’s a difference.”

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better,” I said sarcastically.

“It should,” he said with a deep chuckle. “Think about it this way—Mer Bear gets all nervous and shit, right? She’s like a scared little puppy shaking in her boots.”

“That’s not—”

He cut me a dry look. “Don’t try to argue, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Her neck gets all blotchy every time she starts panicking. But that doesn’t mean she’s weak, right? And Al Pal.” He blew out a sigh. “She’s got issues out the wahzoo. Pretty sure that girl is still legally married to that whack job, isn’t she?”

“Shut up,” I said lightly.

“But we all still want her to move to Chicago to be with us, right?”

Yeah, that was true. I was pretty sure Ali stayed out on cruise ships to avoid bringing trouble to anyone’s door, but we didn’t care about any of that. We just wanted her to come home.

---