Page 88 of My Last Dance

He gave me a kind smile as he set an old Bauer skate aside. “I like that my kids are home. I want y’all to stay here. And…” A sadness entered his old blue eyes, which was shocking because he rarely exhibited emotion.

My eyes narrowed. “What? What is it?”

His chin quivered, shocking me.

“Are you okay?” Panic bloomed in my chest as I scanned him over.

He nodded and rubbed a weathered hand over his face to collect himself. “You two loved to dance together.” He chuckled when he saw the surprise on my face. “Thought no one saw you guys back at Centre Ice, eh? I did.” His blue eyes twinkled with a little mischief. “People in the rink sometimes forget that these are games, and the players and skaters, they’re kids. I think sometimes the players and skatersthemselvesforgot they were kids.” He gave me a pointed look. “But at the end of the day, you and Richard, you two were kids together, and it was nice to watch, to hear the laughter, the fun.” He paused. “Don’t forget that it’s supposed to be fun out there.” He gave me a gentle smile before powering up the skate sharpener once again.

Fun.

I couldn’t even remember the last time skating feltfun.

Hans’ words echoed in my head the rest of the day.

________

I could’ve left the rink hours ago, but instead, I laid down on the team bench behind Mer while she coached.

“How’s the partner search going?” she asked.

I paused. So that meant Kappy still hadn’t told Colt and JP about this insane plan yet. It didn’t feel like my place to share Kappy’s recent interest in figure skating, but at the same time, withholding information from my best friend felt all sorts of wrong.

Instead of answering, I blew out a sigh and asked, “Was skating fun for you?”

She mulled over the question as she watched her skater, Kaia, who was doing a program run-through. “In the beginning, yeah. Later on, not so much.”

“Why?” I stared up at the rink rafters. “Isn’t it supposed to be fun?”

She twisted her lips in thought. “The pressure gets to everyone.” She paused and her face tensed as Kaia entered her first jump. As soon as she landed it, Mer clapped. “It starts out as fun, but a switch happens when you decide to make a career of it.”

True. That was very true. And that decision had to happen as early as, like, eight-years-old.

“Why didn’t you quit? When it stopped being fun, I mean.”

She snorted. “I wanted to, but it’s hard. It’s actually one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s excruciatingly difficult to just…quit.” She leaned to the right as Kaia entered a tight layback beilmann. “To stop doing something you’re wired to do, to stop feeling upset when you can’t do certain skills or jumps anymore, it’s hard. But at some point, you have to just let go to move on, ya know? You can’t do it forever. And sometimes your body decides for you.”

That was true in her case, and now I felt stupid for asking her. “How’s your knee?”

“Good.” She smiled. “Colt’s always researching more ways to help.” Her eyes briefly flitted to mine. “Wait, are you thinking about quitting?”

“No, I was just curious.”

She nodded. “What’s going on then?”

“I just feel like it hasn’t been fun for a while.” I blew out a sigh. “Sorry, I sound ridiculous.”

Her brow furrowed. “No, you don’t, and don’t apologize. When’s the last time it was fun for you?”

Staring up at all the hockey championship flags, I sifted throughmy memories. There were little highs from wins with Patrick, of course, but if I really thought about it, the last time skating felt actually freeing and justfunwas at the Barn back at Marshall University, when it was just me and Kappy messing around on the ice together. But Mer didn’t even know about that. Clearing my throat, I settled on saying, “It was a while ago.”

Mer watched Kaia like a hawk as she entered her last combination jump. After she landed the clean combo, Mer clapped again. As soon as Kaia hit her ending pose, Mer turned to me. “Well, maybe try to recreate that situation.”

A commotion at the end of the team box made me pop up on my elbows.

Colt, dressed in workout clothes with a backward hat over his hair, made his way into the box holding two styrofoam cups.

“Piper.” He gave me a nod.

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