Page 25 of Reclaiming Izabel

“No. It’s not. We just operate differently,” I said. At her continued worried frown, I added, “Trust me on this, please.”

She tipped her chin. “Go on.”

I explained the threat to Fire Team families. That the death of Harrelson’s wife and two boys was not an accident. They were killed because our commander survived and the terrorists wanted him to suffer.

“My handler had agents on you,” I said. “But their protection was contingent on me joining the task force. I had to decide quickly.”

“How could they ask you to abandon your marriage just like that? And how could you agree so quickly?” Izabel snapped.

“The intel was there, baby. If I refused their offer, I’m back under DoD command. You would go unprotected. I was in no shape to organize your protection. My team and everyone I trusted was either dead, out of the country, or undercover.” Even Hank was in the Middle East at that time. “I don’t think the Navy ever admitted that the Commander’s family was murdered.”

“They said it was an accident.”

“I’d rather have you hate me than see you dead.”

Izabel gave a bitter smile. “And yet, that was the nightmare you gave me.”

“Baby…”

She held up a hand, a rare hardness flashed in her eyes. I clamped my mouth shut.

“Did you get the terrorist?”

“Yes.”

“But there’s unfinished business.”

“Yes.”

“Am I still in danger?”

“Still assessing, but the immediate threat has been neutralized.”

Izabel sipped coffee. She contemplated the brew for a beat before lifting her gaze to me. “I’m trying to be logical about this. Deep down I know you did what you thought was best for us. It was an untenable situation and quick decisions needed to be made. You say you didn’t want to see me dead, but you killed me anyway. Dying isn’t merely physical.” She paused, rolled her lips, and her nostrils flared. “It’s mental and emotional. You subjected me to that.”

I gave a helpless gesture. “I know and I’m sorry.”

A sad smile crossed her face and the first signs of panic coiled in my gut.

“Where do we go from here?”

Confused by her question, I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean? I want us back together. Isn’t that obvious?”

“Just like that?” The sad smile turned bitter. It was a smile I’d never witnessed on my wife’s face, and I wondered now if we would ever recapture what we had.

“If there’s something I’m not getting, can you spell it out?” I grated. “As soon as we nab this guy, I’ll get my identity back. I know it’s difficult. I’ve changed. You’ve changed, but I’m willing to put in the work to make you trust me again. I know you love me, Izabel, and I’m in love with you. That hasn’t changed.”

“Sometimes love isn’t enough?—”

“Bullshit!” I snapped. Anxiety expanded into a lump that threatened to choke me. “Why the fuck are you saying this?”

“I don’t want the same things anymore,” she said, voice rising. “Six years we were together, five of them as your wife. I understood and never resented each and every time you couldn’tcome home for Christmas or be there for our anniversary. I was happy becauseyou camehome. And when you were home, you were my loving husband. Sometimes I was scared out of my mind, especially when I heard the other wives talk about an op gone bad and SEALs got killed, but I held strong because when I said our vows, I committed to a life as a SEAL wife, too.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “But after what happened to Fire Team and after burying a husband, I don’t think I have it in me to be married to a man like you?—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” I cut in, trying to suppress the anger inside me. “A man like me? What the fuck, Iza?”

“A man who needs to be a hero.”

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