Page 145 of Please Save Me

“How was the appointment?” Lucian asked.

He was completely focused on Mason, but I didn’t want to risk her smoothing this over. I wanted Lucian to be upset for shrugging her off.

“You’dknowif you’d have gone.” My words came out barbed and Lucian’s brows raised.

But, he knew better than to argue. I wasn’t afraid to take his pretty ass over my knee and beat him black and blue, in a sexual way of course. I’d never abuse my lovers, butfuckdid I want him to pay for what he did to Mason.

“I know.” He sniffled as he rubbed his nose. “But with me feeling under the weather, I thought it’d be better for me to stay back.”

Mason paused as she pulled back from Lucian a little more. “I thought you said you had something to do?”

His face quickly shifted to a look ofoh shit. And, my first thought went to him hiding something from us. Sure, he’d been sober for six or so months, but that didn’t mean I’d forgotten howgoodhe was at sweeping things under the rug and pretending they didn’t exist.

“I uh, I did. I was supposed to go to the shop for Sera’s apprenticeship, but I started not feeling well again this morning.”

Mason’s gaze narrowed, and I wondered if she was as suspicious as I felt. “You’re sick again? What’s wrong?”

Lucian pulled back away as he scratched his head. “I’m having stomach problems–It’s happened every now and then since I got sober.”

His discomfort was palpable, so I decided to let this continue.

“Is it serious? Do you need to go to the doctor?” Mason pressed on.

“What? No!” He laughed, waving her off. “I threw up once and I was fine.”

“Then why didn’t you go to work?”

Lucian’s eyes flickered to Sebastian and I before landing back on Mason. “Because…I think it was just stress caused by missing your appointment, and I thought I might feel better once I got to see you.”

She seemed to ease into his words and her smile returned. “Oh, well I guess you don’t want a bite of the croissant I brought back from the bakery.”

His shoulders eased, and it seemed like he could breathe easy again. “Nope, all I need is some time with mybeautifulfiancée.”

Sebastian tensed as he said that, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he let Lucian guide Mason inside before looking at me over his shoulder.

“I know I may tend to over analyze things, so correct me if I’m wrong. But Lucian’s hiding something, isn’t he?” Sebastian sounded almost bored with the conversation despite it being one he picked.

“I uh, I think so.”

I just couldn’t figure out what.

Chapter 44

Lucian

My hands shook as I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

I was fucked. So, completely, helplessly fucked. It didn’t take a genius to know I was in over my head. Getting sober was hard enough the first time, but I did it. But this time… every night I promised myself that I’d get clean tomorrow. Then, each day, tomorrownever came.

At least I had the sense to not drive with anyone in the car while I was using, but that caused me to miss Mason’s appointment. Sure, I could have asked her to drive, but she would have saidwhyand I’d have to tell her that I high as a fucking kite, and she’d tell Sophia, and Sophia would ship me off to rehab, and I’d miss Rosie being born.

I couldn’t miss Rosie being born.

This was fine, as soon as she was here and Mason was settled, I’d go to rehab. For now? I just needed to make sure my secret stayed hidden. I stood on my tiptoes as I fished around on the shelf above the mirror. Eventually, I found the edge of a plastic bag.

I pulled it down, and counted the white pills I had left. Four and a half. This would be enough to get me through today and half of tomorrow. After that, I’d need to go to the shop and see if Sera’s dealer would be willing to sell me a fewmore. As long as I could prevent withdrawals, no one would ever know what I was doing.

I opened the bag and pulled out the half pill before popping it in my mouth. I winced as it stuck in my throat, but that was a small price to pay for the wave of euphoria soon to wash over me.

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