Page 35 of Please Save Me

But I couldn’t tell anyone that without looking crazy, so I just pretended to be happy. I didn’t want to risk ruining their happiness.

“You realize something like that ain’t gonna happen to Mae, right?” It was like Cameron could read my mind.

But that was a fact I didn’t appreciate. Not right now, at least.

No one expected something like that to happen to my sister. The worst thing Charlotte did was get pregnant at the end of her high school career. My moms wanted her to be successful, and she tried to make it right by marrying her high school sweetheart and going to college classes online, but she felt like she failed our moms by not breaking the cycle. And after her son was born, postpartum depression took my sister’s life.

Mason was prone to depression. Mason had tried to kill herself before, and while she was doing better, she still wasn’t in a good place mentally. It was all too easy to believe she’d get depressed and make Lucian a widower, just like my sister did Justin.

But we had enough gloomy people in my house. It wasn’t my job to complain. Everyone else in this house had it worse than me trauma-wise, so it was my job to be cheerful. So, instead of letting Cameron know that wasn’t enough to comfort me, I forced a smile and changed the subject.

“Are you excited about church today?” I chirped before stealing his mug and a sip of his coffee.

My nose scrunched at the bitter taste. You’d think after three years, I’d remember my boyfriend is a psycho who drinks hot, black coffee. Something as good as coffee wasn’t something that should be enjoyed straight, especially because no one in this house literally did anything straight.

“I, uh, yeah, that’s a word for it.” He threaded his fingers into his hair as he exhaled a breath so large it made his chest sink. “If I tell you something, you promise to keep it between us.”

I perked up at the idea of a secret. “Cross my heart.”

Cameron took his coffee back and wrapped his massive hands around the mug. His gaze focused on something in the distance, something I couldn’t see.

“My dad’s in town.”

I covered my mouth with my fingers as I gasped. “What? I thought you didn’t talk to him.”

“I don't,” Cameron grumbled. “I think he found out about Mason and–”

“Oh, he wants to be a grandpa?”

Cameron’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he rubbed his temple. “Something like that.”

Normally, I’d say that was a great thing. It would mean that someone would have the chance to reconnect with their family, that their parents would admit that they were wrong, and move on. But, from what Cameron had said about his dad, I didn’t trust it.

“Well, too bad! Just ignore him.” I coached.

Ultimately, it was Cameron’s choice whether to let his dad in or not, and I had a feeling Cameron was strongly leaning toward the latter. But as Cameron looked away and his shoulders slumped, I wondered if there was something about this situation he wasn’t telling me.

Chapter 11

Cameron

I had been stationed at Saint Sameal’s for over five years, not counting the time I spent visiting and planning the renovation. It was the longest I had been at a church, and while I hated preaching as a whole, Saint Sameal’s was my favorite of the sanctuaries I had called home.

The bones of the building were constructed in the late 1800s, and it had been handled with care.

Despite being abandoned when Dale procured the property, there was very little we had to do to fix it up. A pipe had burst in the basement, leaving it flooded and moldy. So, before we could do anything, we fixed the plumbing and replaced the rotten wood. Even with that, the slight smell of mildew lingered in the air, almost like that old basement smell. Dale made sure someone in the congregation had incense burning anytime we were in session. He said that scent was unbecoming of the type of church we lead. But I liked the smell. It reminded me of when the world was simple.

The white facade, high ceilings, and numerous stained glass windows all made it a picturesque building. Too bad all that beauty was wasted on Dale's terrible message. His black truck sat in front of the church. It was the same onehe had in Quebec…. Which was impressive considering he'd owned it for over thirty years.

All I wanted to do today was stay home with my family. I'd be lying if I said the breakfast table this morning didn't have everything I wanted, and that wasn't even talking about the delicious meal Mason made.

For the first time in my life, I was living the life I wanted. I had two beautiful kids I loved like my own and a little girl on the way. My partners, while all a little messed up in their own ways, were so great I felt a little guilty for having three of them. And I was out of the closet. That last one seemed insurmountable for years.

I took a deep breath before pushing myself out of my truck. My well-shined black leather shoes crunched against the white gravel as I trudged up the marble steps and pushed open the heavy wooden doors. A wave of warm air washed over me, bringing the scent of frankincense. The only light came from that spilling in through the stained glass.

But as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I became aware of a presence lurking near the pulpit, barely visible in the faint light.

“Cameron, you’re late.”

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