Page 53 of Shadowed Obsession

So, should I fail and prove my family right, I’ll concede, accepting leadership on their terms. Because I’m honestly tired of screaming into the void, and it might just be safer to own a dog. The hope I’m holding on to dwindles a bit each day, but I need to believe in something or I’ll lose my fucking mind.

21/

masks on

Cèsar

9:45 p.m. | ‘the fourth incident’

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight of Deirdre like this, and I hate it. She just got off the phone with her friend, Alora, who shared she is pregnant, and she seemed so happy, but is now sobbing in bed with her face in her hands. Her shoulders shake as she succumbs to the emotions, and I’m not sure what to do or if I should let her know I’m here for her.

This is a private moment, and I’m already invading her space by watching, texting her will only make it worse. There’s nothing wrong with crying, it’s healthy. And however she needs to express herself, she should.

I want to comfort her. It’s difficult for me, as a fixer, to see a problem and just leave it alone. As much as I intrude and have taken interest in finding solutions to her problems, I’m tempted to check in anyway. I understand that may only make things worse, but Deirdre is alone in more ways than one, and I can’t just sit here without offering to help.

My thumbs scurry across the keyboard as I go back and forth testing various messages to send and delete. I’m unsure ofthe right words to say but am overcome with the need to say something.

Hey.

You can tell me to fuck off, but can I come over?

Her sobs are halted by the sound of my messages, and she turns to search for the phone she tossed in the mess of sheets. Once it’s in her hands, she sniffles and unlocks it, staring at it for a moment before her thumb hesitantly hovers over the screen. I decide to push her, which could end badlyorhelp lessen the awkwardness of what’s happening with us right now.

You’re taking a little long to type two simple words “fuck” and “off.”

She snorts and begins typing.

Doe

Fuck off.

Come over and do what?

Drink your tears, of course.

Or hold you, but I understand how weird that sounds.

Doe

If I said yes, which would be incredibly stupid, could we agree on something?

Easy answer. I agree.

Doe

You don’t even know what the question is.

If I invite you into my space, will you respect it, keep your hands to yourself and never mention this to my family?

I know you don’t know me, but you’ve gotta give me more credit than that.

Why would I mention this to your family? It doesn’t make me look good either.

Doe

Because it’s your job to snitch on me. Fucking rat. lol

I’m sure this would be a good thing to report.

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