Page 10 of Crash and Burn

“Really? That’s how you answer the phone? Whatever. Did you leave the house today?”

“Yes.”

“Lies.”

“I’m not lying, man. I’m sitting inside Sharon’s right now.”

“Seriously, Hudson? That’s great, man. How do you feel?”

Embarrassed, I tried to whisper. “I don’t know. Strange, I guess, but good. I came here yesterday for breakfast and decided to come again for dinner even though I’m on my third cup of coffee and I haven’t eaten yet. I think I’m a little wired.”

“Eat something man. I’m proud of you Hud. I know this shit ain’t easy.”

“Yeah, yesterday felt decent, and today feels better than yesterday.” I let out a sigh and there was silence for a minute before Carter spoke up.

“Listen. I know this isn’t what you want right now, but Lex invited someone to the picnic.”

“What the fuck, Carter? Who? Is she setting me up?”

“I know. I know. I tried to talk her out of it. She’s just trying to see you talk to more people. Step outside of the self-imposed bubble you’re in.”

“Self-imposed? Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I felt myself getting pissed and raised my voice. Bringing it down a notch, “I wouldn’t call my wife dying self-imposed. I wouldn’t call trying to figure out how to breathe day to day self-imposed, asshole. You’re my best friend. If anyone should get this, it’s you, Carter.”

“Hey hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

I tried to calm down. He repeated, “Hudson. I really am sorry. Shitty words. I didn’t mean it, and Lex is coming from a good place and Lex can’t uninvite this girl. Let’s just try and make the best of it.”

“Yeah. Look, I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow, all right?”

“Ok, we’ll see you then. I’m sorry, man.”

“I’ll see youtomorrow,” I said, and hung up.

I was fighting this internal battle and I just wanted to punch something. I thought,Fuck dinner. I’ll start packing up my shit, toss a twenty on the table, and leave.When I popped up, Amelia was standing there.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“I’m fine. I uh, gotta go. Listen, I left money on the table.”

“Hudson, do you need anything? You seem upset.”

I looked at her, huffed and shook my head as I walked past her. When I got to my car, I tossed my backpack on the passenger seat and banged my hands against the steering wheel, yelling “FUCK!”

I ran my hands down my face and pulled down the visor to look at myself in the mirror. My birthday was coming up in November, and I would be turning thirty-five years old. This wasn’t how I imagined my life turning out. I didn’t want Lex hooking me up with a random woman because I was still mourning the one I had lost, and she was the best. Leaning my head against the steering wheel, I told myself,Breathe Hudson.

When I raised my head, I saw Amelia leaving the diner, but not walking towards the parking lot. She was bundled up, with her bag slung across her body. It was cold outside, and I wondered if she needed a ride.

Chapter 5

Amelia

I swear, Hudson always seemed like he was in a crisis. First, he wanted coffee, then he left in a rush. It was almost eight o’clock on a Friday night and unusually slow at Sharon’s, so I decided to leave early. I noticed Harvey was staring down at his coffee.

“Harvey… you ok?”

“Yes, honey, I’m fine. I’m just a tired old man. I suppose I should head out. You about done with your shift?”

“I was going to work until close, but it’s empty in here. I’m going to check with Sheila and see if she’ll cover tonight so I can head out early.”

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