Page 63 of Crash and Burn

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The police station was difficult for her, but she did everything she needed to do and now she had that extra level of assurance thatdipshitcouldn’t come near her again. They sent Kevin back to the east coast to go through prosecution in his own town. Amelia spoke to her mom and told her what happened, then we went back to Amelia’s to clean up and Vinny and Carter stopped by to help carry the dining room table out and some other stuff that were broken during our fight.

Amelia was particularly shaken by her bedroom. She felt violated and told me she realized she wasn’t alone because a candle was lit in her room. The fact that this jackass would light a candle knowing how Amelia feels about fire was enough to make me want to go after him all over again. She had some small bruising on her arm from where he grabbed her, but overall, everything was mostly a mind fuck and taking an emotional toll on her. She knew she was safe with me but staying in her apartment didn’t feel right to her.

When we finished cleaning up her place, we ended up back at my place. She had grabbed enough clothes for the week. I thought she just needed time. I took her to work and picked her up. I felt better about it, at least for the time being. I knew she missed Jimmy. Her whole routine was uprooted so she was just trying to find her way again. She woke up periodically with nightmares but then realized she was with me. I held her and she fell back to sleep.

The days of her staying at my place turned into weeks and before we realized it, Christmas time had arrived. We went and picked out a real tree for my place, and she did all the decorating to really make the place feel cozy. It was the first Christmas I hadn’t spent by myself in what felt like forever. I could only think of one thing I wanted to do for Amelia at Christmas. I wanted her to move in with me.

It felt crazy even saying it out loud. It had only been about four months since I met her. I wondered how four months could feel like a lifetime. Like she had always been there. So much had happened, it made my head spin.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that each day counts, each moment counts, and much more than you realize can come out of a single moment in time. I would’ve never expected that when I set foot in the diner that day, that it would lead us to this moment, here and now. I couldn’t see that far out. I knew I was hurting, and I knew I needed to figure out what life looked like without Devina in it. A single moment, a single step of courage, changed the whole trajectory of my life. Losing Devina paralyzed me, but meeting Amelia repaired me, built me up, and restored my belief in love. I never want to assume there will be a thousand moments with Amelia, so I will treasure each and every one. There is no time like the present because tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. I wanted to enjoy her company all the time, right there, in my place, every day. So, yes, four months seemed soon, but it was also a series of many moments that I’ve treasured and led me to this moment.

“Hey Amelia, can I talk to you?” I asked her.

She came into the living room and sat on the couch with a cup of coffee. She had made me one too and handed it to me. “What’s up? It’s nice in here, huh?”

“It’s perfect in here, babe. Thanks for all you did to make it feel so warm.” She smiled and looked at me, waiting.Here goes nothin’.“I uh, wanted to talk to you about something... Kinda crazy, huh? The past few months?”

“That’s an understatement baby.” She let out a small laugh.

“Well, kind of crazy the past few weeks that you’ve been here, right?

“Uh Oh. I’ve overstayed my welcome. Oh my god, I’m sorry, Hudson. Do you need some space? I didn’t even think about it. You probably want your space back. I will…” I held up my hand to stop her.

“Baby, wait.” I laughed and she was tight lipped. “That’s not what I meant. It’s the exact opposite of that. I never want you to leave.” She just stared at me, blinking.Ok, I need to be straight forward here.“I want you here all the time, Am. I want you to…um…I want you to move in with me.”

She looked stunned, with her mouth slightly open. “Hudson. Well, that was not at all what I was thinking you wanted. Wow. I…don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you can start with something like, ‘Oh Hudson, that sounds like the best thing ever.’ That would be a good start.” Then, we laughed together.

“Oh baby, I want nothing more than that, but are you ready for that? For me to be here day in and day out. This is your space.”

I moved closer to her, grabbing her hands inside mine. “Amelia, you’re already here day in and day out. And if you haven’t noticed, this isourspace. It isn’t justmyspace anymore. Everything I did to the place, the changes I made, I made them foryou, for us. I want you here. I want more photos of us, more coffee, and more drives to work. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with my arms around you every morning. I love you, Amelia.”

She smiled but was also trying not to cry. She brought one of her hands up to my face and I kissed the inside of her palm. “Hudson, I would love nothing more than to move in with you. Yes, let’s do it!”

I stood up, pulling her up with me and hugged her. It was perfect, and she was mine from sunrise to sunrise.

Chapter 27

Amelia

It wasn’t like I had a ton of stuff but consolidating my things down and merging them into Hudson’s place was interesting. I kept my buffet because I love it. Hudson had gotten a new bed, so we sold mine. He already had plenty of dresser space, so we sold mine. There was a lot of my stuff we sold which was fine. All my beautiful books though, found a new home on the wall of bookshelves Lex had built for me in his place...well,ourplace. It's still so strange to say that. It’s a beautiful thing, though.

When I met Hudson, he was so depressed and withdrawn. I never knew what would happen that day or that we would end up here. What Ididknow at the time was that sometimes people lose their magic. Hudson had lost his when Devina died. I didn’t try and shut that part of him down. If anything, he was still going through a healing process and even though he has come so far in such a short time, he knows it’s okay to acknowledge it if he’s having a moment. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, or doesn’t want me around, and I know that. I absolutely wanted to create a safe space for him to feel.

Our nights are quiet. We usually have the record player going while we read. It’s perfect. Occasionally, I look up and catch him staring at me. So that’s what it’s like to be loved truly. My soul is so happy. He drives me to work, picks me up, and quickly takes me home. That’sifhe doesn’t stay and talk to Harvey and the other guys too long. I miss Jimmy, so I occasionally hop on the bus to say hello and catch up. Not nearly enough, like I used to, but that’s alright. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.

I’m in complete awe of Hudson’s ability to love again. Honestly, I’m in awe ofmyability to love again, too. I think that’s what’s so magical about us. We were both hurting, and running, and in our running, we ran into each other. We were given a second chance at love and our hearts survived.

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Epilogue

Hudson

11 months later

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