Page 30 of Beguiled and Broken

Was itthe important thing? I second guessed everything. I should have been with my family, and I knew it. I thought,she’ll take care of them. But did I want that?That’s what we paid her for, right?I tried to convince myself that everything would be fine.

Chapter 20

Vinny

I hadn’t been the most pleasant person to be around and I was still seeing red because Bianca wasn’t in New York with us. I got to my ma’s house, but left the kids with Catarina, my mother asked, “Vinny, where are my babies?”

I wanted to bring them with, but I didn’t necessarily want Catarinawith. Ma would’ve drilled Catarina with questions because she wasn’t too keen on other people outside of the family taking care of our kids. We always took care of our own in our family and she wouldn’t hear any of it. Besides, she was already having a hard time with the fact that Bianca hadn’t come with us.

I kissed my mother on the cheek and gave her a hug. “They’re at the hotel with the sitter. I know you want to see them, and you will, but I wanted to talk to you first about everything related to Nonno.”

She looked upset. “Vinny!Ican take care of my grandchildren. They should be here withus. This is their great grandfather. I know they are young, but this is famiglia.” She smacked my chest. “Who is this babysitter?”

“Her name is Catarina. She’s great with the kids. Listen, it’s ok, ma. Let’s just talk about the services for Nonno. I’m not too sure how everything is gonna go. What’s the plan?”

She shook her head as she walked away and headed for the kitchen table. Nothing in the apartment had changed in years. She still had the old Formica table that she’s had since I was a little kid. I remember sitting at that table when she told me about the supposedarranged marriagebullshit. I got chills even thinking about it. She grabbed a couple of Pyrex cups and two teabags from the cabinet while we talked. “Tomorrow you will carry the casket along with your cousins.”

“Which cousins? Who’s here?”

“Damiano, Lorenzo, Andres, Frankie, and Matteo.They all have come in from Vomero. They are staying at the Williamsburg.”

I was shocked. “The Williamsburg? Fancy. Why didn’t they just stay at Nonno’s? They could’ve saved the money.”

“They have it. You know how crazy your cousins are. I’m sure they want to go party. Stay out of trouble with them, ok?”

“I’ve got my kids, Ma. I take it none of them have gotten married or had kids yet?”

“Long story. I’m pretty sure Andres and Frankie are married now. Damiano was promised to someone but we’re not sure what happened. Lorenzo and Matteo are too wild and I think they are pulling Damiano into their mess.” She laughed lightly. “Anyway, you will be carrying Nonno with them. The service will be quick. You know he never liked anything too flashy.” She handed me a cup of tea and sat back down. “The rest of the family is protesting that. You should see all the flowers coming to the funeral home.Hugebouquets and arrangements, Vinny. What are we going to do with all of those flowers?” She shook her head.

“We’ll donate them, Ma. Nonno would appreciate that. He always loved his garden. Can you blame them? Nonno was respectedgreatly, hereandin Vomero.”

“I know. I know.” She started to cry. “I will miss him. He really stepped in when your papa died. I will miss my friend.” I gave her a big hug. I would miss him too.

*

After I left ma’s house with a plate of cookies wrapped up, I went back to the hotel. I had gotten a joined suite so the kids and I stayed in one room and Catarina was in the other, close enough to quickly help me with the kids if I needed anything. When I walked in, it was quiet. I looked up to see the kids sleeping in the king size bed. They looked so small in that giant bed. I looked around the suite and didn’t see Catarina anywhere, but I knew she wouldn’t have just left them there. I turned to walk toward the other door, but she came out of the bathroom in just a towel. I said, “Whoa, sorry. I didn’t know you would be here. Isn’t there a shower in your room?”

“Oh, Vinny. I’m sorry. I used this bathroom to shower so I could hear if the kids got up. I wouldn’t have been able to hear them from the other room. Is that ok?”

She looked at me with doe eyes and tiptoed by me, brushing against me in what seemed like an intentional way. I took a step back and she stopped, turning toward me. “I’ll just go to my room.”

Her eyes stayed locked to mine until I grew increasingly uncomfortable. So I turned around to look at the kids and said, “Sure. Please get dressed before the kids wake up. I’m taking them to dinner with my mother. You’ll have a free night to do what you like or you can come with.”What? Idiot!I wasn’t sure why I’d offered her to come with us. I didn’t want that, and instantly regretted it.

“Of course. I’ll get ready.” She turned and went to her room. I shook my head. I needed to call Bianca. I hated this. Just as I was getting ready to call her, she sent a text.

Hey baby. I’m thinking of you. How is everything going?

Hey. It’s going. I went and visited ma. She’s doing ok. She’s sad, ya know. We’re taking the kids to her house for dinner.I wondered if I should’ve told her about Cat.

We?

Me and Cat. She’s coming with.

Oh. Ok…

What’s the matter?

Nothin. I just wish I was there. I’m really sorry I didn’t come, Vinny. :(

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