Page 33 of Beguiled and Broken

She titled her head up to kiss my cheek. “Baci, papa.”

I smiled and said, “My sweet girl. You want to get up or sleep some more.”

“Latte.” The kids loved their milk in the mornings. Bianca usually took care of them in the mornings, but I was glad to be there with them and jumped up to get her some milk. Angelo was starting to stir, so I asked Gianna, “You want to wake your brother up?” I smiled big at her and wiggled my eyebrows. She laughed and nodded. I got up, swooping her up as she giggled and then set her on top of her brother in the other bed. “Say wake up, brother!”

“AN-GEEE! Wake?UP!” she yelled, putting extra emphasis on the UP. She called him Angee sometimes and he hated it, but it always gave me a good laugh.

I chuckled away as he started to wake up and left them to play while I poured their milk and made them something to eat.

*

We were sitting at the cemetery in our car while we waited for everyone to arrive. The air was crisp and cool, but sunny. You could smell the flowers on the breeze. The morning service at Saint Mary’s church went fast but it was nice. I was daydreaming when I felt my phone buzz.

It was Hudson.Hey bro. Thinking of you today. Call if you need anything or want to talk.Then another text went off.

Cole this time.You good, man?

Hey man, yeah, I’m good. Waiting at the cemetery for everyone to pull in. Doing this and then the reception. I’m just ready to get passed this part.

I feel that. Hang in there. Call me later if you need to talk about it.

Thanks Cole, I will.

One final more notification came from Carter, so I knew the guys all said let’s text Vinny and check on him. I smiled.Hey, bro. Lex and I are thinking about you. Lex has been checking on Bianca since you’ve been gone. Wild shit she’s got going on. Sorry to hear about it. You doin’ alright out there?”Damn. I didn’t even think to have anyone check on her and felt like a jackass.

Damn, bro. I appreciate you guys. I didn’t even think to ask you all to check on her. Thank you. Yeah, I’m good. At the cemetery waiting. Ready to come home though.

We’ll see you soon. Don’t worry about things back here. Just take care of yourselves.

Will do.

I would be eternally grateful for these guys. They always knew when to step in.

I saw my mother’s old black Lincoln Towncar pull in. My cousin, Damiano was driving her. I looked at Cat in the passenger seat and then back at the kids. “You guys ready?”

The kids nodded. Catarina said, “I’ll keep the kids close to me. You can just focus on what you need to do.”

I gave a small smile and nodded my head. “Thank you, Cat. I do appreciate everything you’ve done on this trip. It’s really helped me to be able to focus on my mother, my grandfather, and the rest of the family.”

“Of course, Vinny. I’d do anything for you…for all of you.” She looked back at the kids. “Let’s go, guys.” The kids smiled and we all got out to walk up to the gazebo where the casket was set in the middle of the gazebo. A wall of floral arrangements served as a backdrop. Everyone was starting to get in their seats so I sat in the front row next to Ma. Cat and the kids sat in the row right behind us.

I looked up to see a beautifully framed photo of my grandfather in his Army service uniform when he fought in the Korean War. I always admired him for his service. It took courage, and Nonno had plenty of that. There was a time when I thought one day I might follow in his footsteps but then I met Bianca and knew I’d never leave her. One of the hardest things about funerals for veterans is when they playTapswith the trumpet and fire three shots at the end. The sound cracks you open. I’d been preparing myself for it all day. I kept telling myself I could handle it. I needed to be there for Ma. There were so many people there for him. I had to fight back tears for that too. It was nice to have my cousins there. Seeing them was such a rare thing. I hadn’t seen most of them since my wedding.

The service started and the priest said a few words before he gave his blessing over Nonno. I closed my eyes when the sound ofTapsstarted playing. An emotional lump formed in my throat, so I reached my hand for Ma’s and squeezed it. I could hear her crying. The sound of her crying was so much louder with my eyes closed. Between her sobs and the music, it was almost unbearable. I felt like I was going to lose it at any second. That melody could bring the strongest of men to their knees and it sounded loudly in my ears. It felt like they were standing right behind me.

That last note played, then everything went silent for a second. It was like even nature knew it was time to be silent because you couldn’t hear a thing, no birds chirping, no wind, no sounds of the crickets…it was just silent. I heard a few muffled words from the Honor Guard in the background. Then, seven guns fired the first volley of shots at the same time. A few more muffled words, then the second volley cracked through the sky. With each one our sobs grew heavier. I continued to hold and squeeze Ma’s hand. I felt a hand on my back but didn’t know who it was. Then another on my shoulder, still not knowing who it was. The last shot rang out and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was silent.

Then, it was as if everything came back to life, and everything that was silent, rushed back in at once. The birds sang. The wind blew. People were talking and moving, but I was frozen. I felt paralyzed. That was it. This was goodbye. The finality of everything hitting me hard. I knew if I opened my eyes, that was it.

I heard my mother say, “Vinny, Come on.” My eyes opened. My breath trembled. My baby girl was hugging my leg. My ma was at my side, leaning against my shoulder with her arm around me. Cat and Angelo were standing behind me. Damiano was standing in front of me, blocking people from approaching while I gathered myself. I picked up Gianna and set her on my lap, then reached an arm around Ma.

I kissed my mother on the side of her head and asked, “You ok, Ma?”

“I’m fine, Vinny. What about you? I know this was so difficult.” She looked up at me and squeezed my shoulder.

I nodded at her. “I’m alright. So, what do we do now?” I smiled and shrugged.

“We live. That’s what Nonno would want. We do all the things because he was such a busy person, always doing all the things. He loved this life. Give me my Gigi.” I kissed Gianna on the cheek and handed her to Ma.

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