Page 30 of Tempting Sebastian

Was I supposed to keep living in my apartment? I think I was thinking too much into it. Sebastian and I were dating, sleeping together, doing things that couples did. It didn’t mean we needed to rush and move in together. Even though I was spending most of my time at his house or he was at my apartment, it didn’t mean anything needed to change.

As time progressed, I tried not to be clingy, but I didn’t really know what Sebastian wanted. At what point in a relationship do things move to the next level? When do you say,I love you? When do you move in together? Those were all answers that I wanted, but I didn’t want to ask Sebastianbecause what if he wasn’t where I was? Maybe he wasn’t even thinking about those things, and he was happy with how things were going. I didn’t know if it was anif it’s not broken, don’t fix ittype of situation.

Christmas and New Year’s came and went, and it was great spending time with Sebastian’s family as always. He and I decided on dinner at a martini bar for New Year’s and then we went back to his place to watch the ball drop at Times Square on tv. I wish I could say we actually watched it drop. Nope. Instead, I was watching a different kind of balls drop. Thinking back on that night gets me hard.

We started as we always did, kissing and dry humping each other until we couldn’t take it anymore. Then I straddled him, naked, sitting in the bed. I reached back and grabbed his dick, and pressed the tip against my asshole.

Just before sliding down, Sebastian kissed me and said, “That’s right. Put my fat cock right where you need it.” Then he filled me up, so thick, I almost couldn’t stand it.

“Fuck, Sebastian. I can’t breathe.” I was riding up and down on top of him, his hard cock plunging inside me each time I lifted myself up and slid back down to the base of him.

“Take it, baby. Ride me!” He kissed me hard, like if he didn’t, I might disappear. We moaned until I could feel his dick getting harder and throbbing inside my ass.

“I’m close, Sebastian. Aaah…” I had my arms wrapped around his neck.

In the background I heard,ten…nine….

“Fuck, yes, Jackson. Take my fucking cock and fucking cum for me.”

six…five…four…

“Oh…shit…Sebastian… oh god...” Sebastian’s hands were digging into my skin. My balls tightened until my cock erupted with cum between us. Sebastian pulled me close to him andleaned into my chest as his arms and hands wrapped around my body, gripping me like he was afraid I’d leave.

“Two…one…Happy New Year!”

“I’m cumming! Fuuuuuck!” Sebastian moaned until I felt his cock pumping my asshole full of cum. He was so deep and kissed me without stopping the entire time we found our release together. “You’re amazing. I love you so much, Jackson”He just fucking said he loved me.

We stopped moving. I leaned back, feeling his cock soften inside me, but somehow it still made me feel full. “What did you say?” I asked.

He sighed and repeated, “I love you, Jackson. I want this. I want you…all the time…in every way…at every fucking moment.”

I got off of him and didn’t say anything but moved to the side of him since he was already sitting up. He bunched the sheet around his waist. Finally responding, I said, “Um… I don’t think my heart can take it.”

“Take what?” Sebastian asked, turning his head toward me, still leaning against the headboard.

“All of it. It’s more than just love and a relationship. It’s life, it’s a home, it’s wanting to be loved as much as I love. It’s friendship. It’s trust.” I looked at him. “I don’t deserve it. Life has shown me that over and over again. If I love you…If I tell you that I love you, you’ll disappear.”

He got up and sat right in front of me, taking my face in his hands. “I know you think you aren’t worthy of love because everyone that has gotten the chance to love you took you for granted.” His head titled to the side, and he looked like he was maybe going to cry. “But Jax, my sunflower, I’m here to tell you that you are…you are worthy of love, of time, of trust, of friendship, of a home. You are worthy and you’re my home. And I’ll beyourhome if you let me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m notgoing to disappear. I love you. I love you now and I’ll still love you whenever you’re ready to say it back.”

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. He disarmed me. “I…” I didn’t know how to put what I was feeling into words. Scared, confused…

Sebastian leaned in and kissed me again before saying in a low tone, “I will always be louder than your demons, Jax.” That made me tear up. Sebastian understood me. He got me. He knew the things I struggled with, and he just understood my soul. “If it’s your heart your worried about, then I’ll be your ribs. I promise I’ll always protect it, even if it means I take a beating to do so. Everything and everyone will have to get past me first. I love you, Jackson. You don’t have to say it back. Only when you’re ready but I love you.”

I reached up and hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, Sebastian. I always have. I love you; I love you, I love you.”

“Happy New Year’s, Jackson.” He pulled me back in and kissed me once more. I felt like I was floating and never wanted to come down.

That’s how our New Year’s went. It was incredible.

I still hadn’t given up my apartment, but it had been an easy three months since both the apartment and Sebastian happened.Easy. I laughed thinking about it. It had been a three-month whirlwind of happiness. We didn’t have many plans that January. All the post-holiday blues had set in. Everything is so magical from October to December. Then January rolls around and it’s grey and all the lights come down and winter settles in deep. Everyone is counting down to spring and trying not to be depressed.

Work had actually picked up, so Sebastian and I went on several picking adventures that I set up with people looking tooffload some things. Those trips were so fun, even in the winter, and luckily, we didn’t have any more car breakdowns.

Time passed as it always does, and we fell into a great work/play balance. We spent time together, had dinner, watched movies, and went out. Sometimes I went home afterwards and sometimes I stayed. Sometimes he went home and sometimes he stayed at my place.

One thing was for sure, I didn’t want to be anywhere that Sebastian wasn’t. When he told me he loved me, it changed everything for me. I’d never known this kind of love. Love from someone who wanted nothing in return but my love for him back. I felt safe with Sebastian and safety was something I hadn’t ever felt in my life. He also gave me space to explore my feelings and what I really wanted out of this life. Having my own place was so important to me and my path of having something that was finally mine. Even though I had spent the majority of my time with Sebastian, I did it. I got out of the homeless shelter, out of the bus depots, and I made my way. Sebastian was a big supporting part of that, and I appreciated him giving me the time to live that life. I loved him for that. He was crazy, but he was mine.

Chapter 23

---