Page 22 of Desserts for Stressed People

I chuckle, picturing a big man like him, in his blue suit, stumbling down the precipice and almost ending up with his loafers in the water.

I’m about to close the red box when something makes me hesitate. I kind of want to leave him something of mine too. Maybe one day he’ll open it and see what I left for him. I fish into my pockets, but there’s nothing. My bag is at home, and truth to be told, there isn’t much of value in there. I could leave him my earphones, but it took me forever to find a pair I like, and it’s a horrible gift anyway. Something that goes inside your ears. I shake my head when the best thing I can come up with is my hair tie.

With an exhale, I take out my keys and fit Shane’s key in the metal ring. And that’s when I see it. My key chain. It’s almost too perfect—I don’t know how I didn’t think of it before, though it’s probably because the thought of separating from it pains me.

I bought it for myself on a random day, in this little shop I never went back to in the city center. When I saw it in the window, I couldn’t help myself.

After holding it tight in my hand, I weaken my grip on the silver DeLorean sitting on my palm. I free it from the metal ring, then hesitantly let it fall inside the box. It’s not like he’s ever going to give it back to me—this is goodbye. But glancing at the red bricks on the walls, at the pink flowers that stand proud out of the veiny crevices in the pavement, I know he’s given me an important gift too. I will be back here many times. I’ve fallen in love with every detail, and I’ll want to see this place again when the daylight allows me to grasp more. Maybe when it’s raining, to see the water pour down the hole in the roof, or when the sun is setting, and everything looks orange and summery.

I trace the shape of the little wheels, the doors and the top, and with a smile, I snap the lid closed.

Chapter6

A New Boss

“It’s him!I found him. It’s Alex!”

Emma’s eyes widen, and a normal person would remind me we’re in a café, and I screamed like a lunatic before eight a.m. Thankfully, Emma isn’t normal. “Oh my God, let me see!” She grabs my phone and sighs. “Are you gonna swipe right on him?”

People stare at me with different degrees of annoyance, but I focus on the marble table and sip my coffee. I must look crazy. Iamcrazy. But a teeny tiny part of me is buzzing with adrenaline.

I can’t believe I found Alex. Changing my age did the trick, and I feel so stupid for not thinking of it before. Of course he’d think of a way to avoid matching with any of my friends.

With an annoyed pout, I scroll through his pictures. There’s over ten, and I recognize most of them, including a couple of shirtless selfies he sent me before. Yes. He uploaded his shirtless selfies, taken inourbathroom.

“So? Are you gonna?” Emma insists, her legs bashing mine under the table as they jump up and down.

I scowl. “Aren’t you the one who’s always looking for the poetic side of things? This is a pivotal moment. I’m enjoying it.”

“You’re stalling, that’s what you’re doing.” She tilts her head. “Come on, after he lied to you some more last night, you can’t tell me you’re still doubtful.”

It angers me that Emma doesn’t get it, but she’s never had a long-term relationship. Ever. She doesn’t understand that though I want to end things with Alex, it’s still difficult to reconcile the person I thought he was with the one he actually is.

“I’m not. It’s just...we’ve shared five years of our lives. Iambreaking up with him as soon as possible, and I want to do it this way. But it’s still difficult and stressful.”

When my voice comes out in a whisper, Emma sighs, reaching for my hand on the table as her knees halt. “H, I love you, but no. He was a horrible human being way before cheating. And I’m glad this finally opened your eyes, but think about the way he treats you every day.Reallyfocus on it, and it’ll be easy. I promise.”

“What do you think he’ll really be doing this week?” I ask. Assuming he lied about his work trip, where will he be?

Emma shrugs, biting her Danish. “Maybe he has a few hot dates planned. He’ll get a hotel room in town and have his skanks over. Or he’s planned a satanic orgy. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

I chuckle, but it feels like someone ran me over with a tractor. I can’t wait for breakfast to end and to clock in. Work-me can handle everything. Instead, I feel as fragile as the place Shane showed me yesterday.

Speaking of, I tap on our chat and check the last messages we shared. We texted so much last night. For hours. Once I got home, I didn't even notice Alex. And I felt no guilt when I curled up in bed, texted with Shane and laughed at his witty texts. I did that a lot.

Shane:

This was nice, but I think you’re in dreamland. Looks like you owe me twice. #LeftOnReadAgain #GoodnightNevaeh

That’s the last text he sent me after I stopped answering. For the second time, I fell asleep with his texts.

“What are you doing?” When Emma glances at the screen of my phone, I close the chat and move back to Alex’s profile. I didn’t tell her about Shane because she’d say I should come clean and enjoy a passionate romance with him. It sounds just like her. But I can’t—not in a million years. He’d think I’m a lunatic, a liar. I’d be aloneandhumiliated.

“Nothing,” I say. She averts her eyes, clearly struggling not to snap the phone out of my fingers and swipe right herself, so I put it on the table and take a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

She perks up and swallows the bit of pastry she’s chewing. “All right. Time to kick ass.”

I nod, move my fingers to the phone and swipe right on the past five years of my life.

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