Page 121 of Riding the Sugar High

He rubs his forehead, and now that I’m paying attention, he looks like shit. His gaze is weary, heavy in a way that wasn’t there before. It’s a sobering realization, witnessing the toll that life has taken on my brother and not knowing what caused it. We’re strangers now.

“Aaron, what’s going on with you and Josie?”

He shrugs but doesn’t meet my gaze. “I better go. I’ll give you a call once I find her.”

There’s a chasm forming between my mind and my gut. On one side, an eager want pulls me toward Primrose, back home, whispering promises that are hard to resist. And on the other, Aaron. He’s an asshole, but a duty that tugs at my conscience. I love Josie, and Aaron is still my brother.

“Wait,” I call. He stops, and by the time he turns around, I’m already slipping my boots on. “Let’s go.”

“What about Primrose?”

“I’ll call her from the car.” I advance toward his gray BMW—pretentious, like everything he’s taken up in the last five years of his life.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Aaron says as he reaches the driver’s side. Our eyes meet over the car’s hood, and for a moment, I don’t say anything.

I know I don’t have to go with him—in fact, he doesn’t deserve it. But I will anyway, because he’s my brother. Because he was my best friend for most of our lives, and that’s not something you forget. It just stays there, stabbing you with pain and sometimes dragging you away from the woman you want to sleep with.

“I’m not doing it for you,” I say as I open the car door. “This changes absolutely nothing between us.”

* * *

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” I say into Aaron’s phone.

“Yeah, please keep me updated.”

I close my eyes, letting Primrose’s voice wash over me as the car struggles over the uneven terrain back to the city, my body wobbling from left to right. “I will. If you need to reach me, Aaron’s phone number is in the black notebook next to the phone, okay?”

“I’ve been alone before, you know?” she sing-songs.

“Stop being yourself for a minute,” I grumble.

“Why? Do you miss me too much?”

“Yes.”

She sighs softly, the rattling almost comforting against my ear. “Help out Josie and Aaron. Then come back so you can show me how much you missed me.”

I smile, quickly using my hand to hide it. “Yeah, deal.”

“I’ll see you later.”

I hang up, then set my brother’s phone on his dashboard stand. I’m not sure where we’re going, but he’s her husband, so he must have a better idea of where she usually hangs out than me.

We drive in silence for a while, my mind switching between worry over Josie and obscene thoughts of Primrose. I can still taste her. Still smell her. Still see the way she grinded on my face until she was screaming my name.

“So, how long has this been going on?”

With my daydreaming rudely interrupted, I glance at Aaron, whose eyes bounce my way before returning to the road.

“And don’t try to sell me the story you gave Josie.”

He’s not serious, is he? He can’t possibly think I’ll discuss my life with him. “Unless you’re up for brushing my hair, I’m afraid I’m not spilling my heart to you.”

“Is it a serious thing? Just physical?”

I exhale, shifting position on the seat, and after a few minutes of silence, I ask, “Where are we going?”

“I have no idea. I’m just driving to Roseberg, but...no clue.”

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