Page 130 of Riding the Sugar High

“You thought you were better than me,” I finish.

He pauses, eyes burning into mine, then nods. “Yes. I thought I was better than you—for her. And I thought one day the two of you would break up, and I’d still never get my chance because I’m your brother.”

I look away, because though I wish I’d known about all of this, it hardly wins me over. He doesn’t get my sympathy, because there’s a key difference in our situations. I had no idea he was into Josie, while I’d made no secret of my feelings. We’d been together for half a decade when he swooped in. I would have never chosen a girlfriend over him.

He broke me, fully aware of what he was doing.

“I’m an asshole,” he says as he throws his arms up. “I betrayed you in the worst way possible. I fucked up, and I have no excuse.”

No, he doesn’t.

So what if he had feelings for her? If Josie and I weren’t a good match? None of it matters. He’s my brother, and he was my best friend, and that should have trumped anything else.

“I understand that you’ll never forgive me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” He drops his head in his hands. “I knew it the second I slept with her. But I wanted to make at least a good life for myself, Josie,Sadie. Make sure that all of it...that it was for something.”

“Are you talking about that shitty job?”

He nods, looking in the distance. “But nothing will ever work. There isn’t enough money to compensate for what’s missing from our lives.”

“What’s that?” When he sniffles, the adrenaline and anger subside, and heartbreak takes over. Primrose’s face filled with disappointment haunts me like a ghost, my stomach twisting as I picture her walking away.

What if it’s my last memory of her?

“Love,” he says coldly, dragging his foot over the gravel. “She doesn’t love me. She will always love you, and I’ll always be the one who broke the two of you apart.”

My jaw slacks open, and quickly collecting myself, I watch him take something out of his pocket.

“We’re divorcing.”

Wait, what? Did I hear that right?

He fishes into his jacket pocket and takes out a paper. Once it’s in my hands, he adds, “Just a copy. The original is already with the lawyers.”

Divorce papers. I can’t believe this.

I give them back, but my head is spinning with the overload of emotions, and I reluctantly sit beside him.

I’ve wanted them to break up for years, while hating myself for it. I yearned to see Aaron lose everything, then felt like shit because if he did, so would Sadie, and I never wantedherto suffer.

Now that it’s happening, I don’t feel anything but pain.

“You’re a better man than me. You’ve always been. You’re loyal, generous, strong.” He sets the paper back into his jacket. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.”

I rub my forehead, looking away. I can’t forgive him—not when it took him thirty-five years to learn what Primrose understood in two weeks. “If you think this fixes anything...”

“No, I know.” He releases a deep breath. “Divorcing Josie will not fix a single thing between me and you. And helping you with the farm won’t do that either.” He takes out his checkbook. “I’m not buying your forgiveness, Logan.”

He scribbles on the check and hands it over. “I just want you to be happy—you and Josie—because I...” He looks down. “I love you both.”

It’s a little harder to hate him, knowing he and his family are going through what is probably the hardest time of their lives, but I’ll manage.

“This money is yours. We always planned to invest it in the farm, and I left you high and dry.” His eyes close for a long moment. “Spend it or not—the farm is yours. But so is the money.”

I think of all the guys working at the farm and all the rescues living here. Though I wish I could throw the money at his face, I’m not willing to play with the fate of my farm. Of my friends and family.

We might make it without ever cashing this check, or we might need it eventually, but I’ll take it. It’s time I swallow my pride.

“Thank you,” I say as I hold his gaze.

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