Page 132 of Riding the Sugar High

I see all my mistakes one by one. Every single opportunity I had to tell Primrose, but I didn’t, all the words I should have said but didn’t leave my mouth.

They’re heavy and thick on my tongue now.

“Look, Logan, I’m so sorry about tonight. I had a little too much to drink, and?—”

“You’re an alcoholic,” I interrupt.

She doesn’t say a word, so I turn to her, waiting for confirmation. “I’ve had a few incidents?—”

“You’ve taken up drinking as an answer to your problems. You drink until you act irrationally or pass out. It’s straining your relationships and ruining your life.” I shrug. “So you’re an alcoholic.”

When she looks down at her lap, lips wobbling, I exhale.

“Aaron told me you filed for divorce.”

Her eyes snap to me. “What...how do you feel about it?”

I ignore theactualmeaning of her words and take a sip of coffee. “Worried about Sadie. I assume you’ll have some shared custody agreement?” Her lips bend into a frown. “One week with you, one with him? Weekdays and weekends?” I shrug. “What happens when you have her? Will you drink if something happens? And if you’re out of drinks, will you leave her alone to buy more?”

“Logan, I would never put Sadie in any danger.”

“Maybe. Maybe you wouldn’t today. But I’m sure you would have laughed six months ago if someone had told you you’d be making a scene at my parents’ house and running from home to show up at my place.”

She brings the cup to her lips and slowly sips without saying a word.

“You need help, Josie. We can get it for you so that you can go back to taking care of Sadie the way you’re meant to.”

Tears strike her face as she nods. “Okay,” she says, her voice tinged with sadness.

Okay.I guess that’s something, but I intend to ensure she follows through.

Neither of us says anything else for a long while, and Barbie’s upbeat voice, blabbering all the time, is painfully absent. How can a place where I lived my whole life no longer make sense because she spent thirteen days here, then left? How is it possible?

“Does Prim hate me?”

My body twitches, and I shift position to mask it. “I have no idea. She dumped me.”

“What?”

I’m not repeating it, so instead, I bask in my misery, in the unbelievable amount of pain compressing my lungs. I let the thought of it poison me slowly and thoroughly. How I lost someone who tried her best to get to know me. To understand me and give me comfort.

“So...you’re single?”

My brows tighten as I turn to Josie.

“I know. You’ve just broken up,” she says with a shaky voice. “But I need to say this now, Logan, because I don’t think I’ll get another chance.”

“Josie—”

“I adore Prim, but you’re the love of my life,” she whispers.

Watching her distressed expression, I can recognize in her the same pain I felt for so long. It kills me to know she’s going through it, but at the same time, I feel none of it. None of the heartbreak that has followed me around like a ghost for the past five years.

Hearing I’m the love of her life means nearly nothing to me.

“I know it’s terrible that I only realized all of this when Prim came around. And if I’d told you three weeks ago that I love you, this would have been much, much easier, but...” She wipes her tears away, but more follow quickly after. “I had to try, Logan. You need to know before you choose.”

Rubbing a hand over my mouth, I rest my forearms on my thighs. I keep my eyes on the silent fireplace, then whisper, “Timing has nothing to do with this, Josie. You could have said this a year ago, and my answer would have been the same.”

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